Sunday, October 30, 2011

The F1 Mania --- oops --- Manager

Now that the India F1 is done and dusted, time for me to give my non-expert comments. And I challenge any one to be as much of a non-expert as I am. I am truly un-challenged in this arena.

I frankly don’t get the fascination with the F1 race. I mean; these guys, who you cannot see, just go round and round the circuit making a lot of noise and polluting the environment.

There might be some deeper meaning to it, but given my non-expert status I can only comment on what I noticed today while watching it at my good friend and boss’s house. Yeah today was my first!!! Here it goes….

First up was the tedious pre-race program on TV. God! They just went on and on putting even the pre-cricket match program on the assorted Sports channels to shame. And that needs some doing!!! But what really struck me was the asinine, almost fawning, question that was put to all the drivers, “How do you find India?” And, boy, did the drivers struggle to be nice. The effort was really showing. Nice, warm, chaotic but different, poor but happy blah blah blah… one guy, I don’t know his name (I told you, today was my first) did have something like ‘I don’t like spicy food’ pop out of his mouth but the rest of his statement was edited out. I am sure that would have been good.

Give them a break. Don’t put them in a spot like that. They have no option but to be nice about us. Can’t afford to piss of Bernie who is looking at making money here in India. It almost reminded me of a boring and rather painful neighbor whose dinner I regretfully attended and was ambushed into stating that the dinner was oh! Gosh, something to die for.

The second thing that I noticed was Mallya saab in a T-shirt… with a humoungous paunch… hmmm underneath all those uber cool suits… :p And of course how could I forget that the Sahara boss was also there. Pssst…. How and where do these guys get their money from? But who am I to try and figure out? Even the RBI has not been able to do so. Anyway these two worthies with Sachin is what I noticed.

Now what else did I notice? Hmmm … The race started and after about 5 seconds it ended for one of the blokes. Again, no names please I have no bloody clue. This was hilarious. Spending all that kind of money, flying in all that equipment, hiring so many people. All of this to spend 5 seconds on the track. Hehehehe… It would have been like my walking out of the CAT after attempting the first two questions.

So is this a rant against the F1? Not really. It is just that I don’t see it being fun.

But yeah I did find one thing fascinating. I would probably love to just watch a montage of that. And that was the Pit Stop. Boy, I was super impressed. The actual activity was done in less than 5 seconds. WOW… That was something. If I had been responsible for changing a tyre in under 5 seconds, let me assure you that the same tyre would have come off in under 3. It was a supreme display of, Out of this world co-ordination and a Fantastic team effort. Focus. Dedication. Concentration. Technical Knowledge. Nerves of steel. And above all, an all consuming passion to be part of this circus.

In fact I am so impressed by it all that suddenly I am surprised that no hot-shot Management Consultancy has put together the Pit Stop Strategy of Management. Or the Two Second Lesson in Management or some such crappy management crap that would be lapped up by corporate India. After all it was quite well represented there….

Wait ……. Wait ….. Wait…. What am I doing???? WTF am I doing??? I think I know just the right person who can create something like this. Meeee…. I mean I know nothing about F1 and I sure as hell know nothing about management (just ask the faculty at my Bschool and my boss). What more is required to create a Management Paradigm a la the famed Management Consultants of the world…..?

The 2 Second Manager… here it comes…. And … er… um… now F1 suddenly, for some strange reason, does not seem sooo uninteresting after all… It is indeed a wonderful exhibition of .. um…. something. I will think up some shit.

And now for the first chapter.


Bharat C. Jain said...

Humourous take on the F1... just as you, NG, I do not get the F1 mania :D

Nyayapati Gautam said...

Hey BJ, I suspect it is due to the overdose of cricket. And if my suspicions are correct Jaypee wallon ki toh lag gayee... :D

Sarang said...

Dear Sir,
I appreciate your views considering you aren't an ardent f1 fan. In Europe, people are crazy about f1.

I had been to Ferrari City in Maranello, Italy. And, let me tell you the atmosphere there was electrifying. Moreover, I was fortunate enough to be in the driver's seat of Ferrari California. And, the thrill and high that gave me was nothing compared to Cricket and soccer. F1 is a highly technical sport. Its just ain't going round and round the track. Lots of preparation goes before race day. Drivers have to battle the viscous G-forces which demands fitness and concentration of highest level. Also, We lack motor racing culture and heroes like Senna, Prost, Schumacher.