In the Ancient land of 'Erg If Knish'

In the ancient land of Erg If Knish lived the ageing but age-defying ruler Fresh King I nicknamed Yo Tarmac Doll. The nickname; it was whispered, was due to his two passions in life, flying and … er… dolls.

With his old friend, the god Bacchus, in his corner Yo Tarmac Doll conquered the whole wide world of Hic Hic land. Hic Hic Land was the world of fabulous wealth, and having conquered it he was the lord and master of its bottom less riches. The richer he grew the more good times he had… in fact Erg If Knish began to be called the Land of Good Times and Yo Tarmac Doll the King of Good Times.

He encouraged art and crafts much like later, lesser rulers like Samudragupta and Akbar and Shahjahan. He encouraged paintings, especially of ethereal beauties, which were so craftily done that one could not realize where the skin ended and the outfit began. Such was his greatness and the power to give the masses what they wanted. And year on year it went on.

Yo Tarmac Doll was a generous monarch. Not only did he encourage art and crafts he also encouraged sports; such as it was in those ancient times. He was the first in Erg If Knish to have a chariot that raced against the best in the world. It never won, but the objective was not to win but to give the others a chance to win. He even had 11 kids, in coloured clothing; fool around with sticks and balls in his playground. And he would pay them handsomely for doing so. Such a kind hearted man….

Not just the arts and sports, he brought back the sword of the ancient Sultan that had been robbed from his land as a tribute to the glory of Erg If Knish. And for this act he was put on a higher pedestal. If, such a thing were possible.

But with success came arrogance. He began to think big. He began to think he could challenge the gods. He began to think he could fly… and be one with the gods. And that is when the gods spat at him. He did not realize that conquering Hic Hic land with Bacchus in his corner was one thing and flying too close to the sun was quite another.

It is never a good idea to fly too high or too close to the sun. Ask Icarus. Ask Hanuman. They flew too close and suffered. So did Yo Tarmac Doll. He tried to re-create the good times in the air and came a cropper. So much so that his flights of fancy stopped taking off and the King of Good Times was grounded.

So what did he do? Well, he did what everyone who has their hubris shattered would do. He went up to his Mai Baap – The Sarkar and prayed for help. He of the arrogant past went with a begging bowl so that he could continue to fly. All the while he was seething with indignation. How dare the population treat him, Yo Tarmac Doll, the King of Good Times like this? Life was indeed unfair.

But his problems did not end there. If he felt that he could quietly go to the Mai-Baap and ask and receive moolah, he had another thing coming because, suddenly, there was another problem. While Mai-Baap was willing to give him the moolah, some ungrateful people began to question why Mai-Baap’s money should be used to help Yo Tarmac Doll. After all did he not conquer Hic Hic Land all on his own? Did he not plunder the land when he conquered it? And did he share this moolah with others? Nope. Not one paisa. Then why should Mai-Baap help him? Where was the moolah that he plundered? Surely all was not spent in his pursuits of art and crafts? Or was it that his young prince, Hard Shit, spent it all when out with princess Pea Dike.

At any rate the pressure on Mai-Baap not to help him increased. And when that happened, Mai-Baap very intelligently pushed it onto the Banks that had lent him money. After all how did it matter if a few friends helped a few others? It was all part of the divine game plan of which Yo Tarmac Doll was an indispensable part.

But the Banks were smarter this time, smarting as they were under the fact that Yo Tarmac Doll had in the past too said a whole bunch of things but had failed to honour the commitment. If they helped him in his flight of fancy then they would surely sink to oblivion.

And there they left Yo Tarmac Doll to think about what might have been had he not flown too high.

So this, children, is the sad story of the King Yo Tarmac Doll. Of how one man could rise to the top and then topple from that perch because of his arrogance and also because of his incompetence perhaps. I know a few of the older children are whispering at the back that this is all legend and myth and stories. But I would like to differ. These things really did happen in the distant past. These people did exist then. Learn the lessons children and never try to fly too close to the sun.

The F1 Mania --- oops --- Manager

Now that the India F1 is done and dusted, time for me to give my non-expert comments. And I challenge any one to be as much of a non-expert as I am. I am truly un-challenged in this arena.

I frankly don’t get the fascination with the F1 race. I mean; these guys, who you cannot see, just go round and round the circuit making a lot of noise and polluting the environment.

There might be some deeper meaning to it, but given my non-expert status I can only comment on what I noticed today while watching it at my good friend and boss’s house. Yeah today was my first!!! Here it goes….

First up was the tedious pre-race program on TV. God! They just went on and on putting even the pre-cricket match program on the assorted Sports channels to shame. And that needs some doing!!! But what really struck me was the asinine, almost fawning, question that was put to all the drivers, “How do you find India?” And, boy, did the drivers struggle to be nice. The effort was really showing. Nice, warm, chaotic but different, poor but happy blah blah blah… one guy, I don’t know his name (I told you, today was my first) did have something like ‘I don’t like spicy food’ pop out of his mouth but the rest of his statement was edited out. I am sure that would have been good.

Give them a break. Don’t put them in a spot like that. They have no option but to be nice about us. Can’t afford to piss of Bernie who is looking at making money here in India. It almost reminded me of a boring and rather painful neighbor whose dinner I regretfully attended and was ambushed into stating that the dinner was oh! Gosh, something to die for.

The second thing that I noticed was Mallya saab in a T-shirt… with a humoungous paunch… hmmm underneath all those uber cool suits… :p And of course how could I forget that the Sahara boss was also there. Pssst…. How and where do these guys get their money from? But who am I to try and figure out? Even the RBI has not been able to do so. Anyway these two worthies with Sachin is what I noticed.

Now what else did I notice? Hmmm … The race started and after about 5 seconds it ended for one of the blokes. Again, no names please I have no bloody clue. This was hilarious. Spending all that kind of money, flying in all that equipment, hiring so many people. All of this to spend 5 seconds on the track. Hehehehe… It would have been like my walking out of the CAT after attempting the first two questions.

So is this a rant against the F1? Not really. It is just that I don’t see it being fun.

But yeah I did find one thing fascinating. I would probably love to just watch a montage of that. And that was the Pit Stop. Boy, I was super impressed. The actual activity was done in less than 5 seconds. WOW… That was something. If I had been responsible for changing a tyre in under 5 seconds, let me assure you that the same tyre would have come off in under 3. It was a supreme display of, Out of this world co-ordination and a Fantastic team effort. Focus. Dedication. Concentration. Technical Knowledge. Nerves of steel. And above all, an all consuming passion to be part of this circus.

In fact I am so impressed by it all that suddenly I am surprised that no hot-shot Management Consultancy has put together the Pit Stop Strategy of Management. Or the Two Second Lesson in Management or some such crappy management crap that would be lapped up by corporate India. After all it was quite well represented there….

Wait ……. Wait ….. Wait…. What am I doing???? WTF am I doing??? I think I know just the right person who can create something like this. Meeee…. I mean I know nothing about F1 and I sure as hell know nothing about management (just ask the faculty at my Bschool and my boss). What more is required to create a Management Paradigm a la the famed Management Consultants of the world…..?

The 2 Second Manager… here it comes…. And … er… um… now F1 suddenly, for some strange reason, does not seem sooo uninteresting after all… It is indeed a wonderful exhibition of .. um…. something. I will think up some shit.

And now for the first chapter.

Gone in 16 seconds

Aah! how the mighty have fallen. Rajat Gupta, the poster boy of the Indian media, the corporate world and also the rarified world of the Indian MBA has been charged with insider trading in the US.

The bare bones of the case are that Guptaji misused his position as a member of the Goldman Sachs and P&G Board of Directors. As a Director on the Boards of these two companies Guptaji was in the know of certain confidential information that was, obviously, not in the public domain at that moment. He was under obligation to maintain the confidentiality of the information provided to him and not give that information to others for securities trading.

The accusation is that Guptaji passed on the information that he received due to his position on these Boards to his dear friend and business partner Raj Rajaratnam who then proceeded to transact in these securities and profit from the same.

An incident quoted in the chargesheet filed by the District Court in New York is how Guptaji participated in a special meeting of the Goldman Sachs Board on 23rd September, 2008. This he attended via telephone. This meeting was called to approve the 5 billion dollar investment by Berkshire Hathway in Goldman Sachs. Given the financial state of affairs at that time, Lehmann Brothers had just filed for bankruptcy, this was indeed big news. The public announcement of this deal came after the 4 pm close of the NYSE on 23rd September.

Now for the juicy part of the charges, 16 seconds after Guptaji disconnected his call from the Board meeting (at about 3.54 pm) his assistant connected him to Raj bhaiyya. And Raj bhaiyya purchased about 3,50,000 shares at about 3.58 pm. Now if this is not a ‘DO IT NOW’ method of living ones life I do not know what is. I mean this explains why he achieved so much success. If I was in his position I would have thought seriously about calling my friend and would have continued thinking about it. No action. Which explains why he is where he is and I am where I am…. Er… um… actually as of now that is super news, but then I digress.

There are other accusations listed in the Indictment that has been filed. There is another one about Goldman Sachs and the loss that it reported for the first time in its history as a public company. Raj bhaiyya received this information from Guptaji within 23 seconds of the meeting having ended. Information that helped him stave off losses by selling the stock that it had.

There was another incident where Guptaji as a member of the Board of Directors got information about P&G’s less than impressive organic sales growth. He was in Switzerland at that time, probably participating in the Davos circus, but found time to call Raj Bhaiyya who immediately sold short approximately 1,80,000 shares.

Now these as I have said are accusations that have been leveled against Gupatji. They have yet to be proven. Guptaji has denied these charges and is out on bail.

Is he guilty? Or is he not? I do not know. And it is always prudent to presume a man innocent until proven guilty.

I really am not concerned about whether he is guilty or he is not. I am interested in seeing how the Indian media and the corporate sector react to this news. I missed out on what they had to say yesterday. What with Diwali and all the sweets that needed to be dealt with.

I am interested in understanding how we treat his fall from grace. We rejoiced in his elevation claiming that it showed that Indians are taking over the world or some such crap. How are we going to deal with these accusations?

Are we going to hyper-ventilate and go over the top and call this action a racist one by the American judiciary against one of our own? Or are we going to go hammer and tongs at him and hurl insults at him for letting us down so badly? After all, some sections did live vicariously off his success. Or better still are we just going to pretend that this did not happen and get on with life. I mean we do have so many other crooks to think about that we may not have time for this guy who, let’s face it, is accused of activities that resulted in gains of about 4 cr in one transaction and some unspecified millions in the other two. I mean, what is 4 cr in relation to 1.76 lakh cr. No competition.

So, this is what I am interested in – the reaction of all and sundry to this issue, rather than the issue itself. Watch this space.

Ps: I wonder if we are going to transfer all our adulation to Preet Bharara who is the United States attorney for the Southern District of New York and responsible for the mess Guptaji is in.

Addendum: This is what Guptaji had to say in his Graduation Day address to the students of the Indian School of Business (ISB) on April 8, 2006

".... The third lesson I learnt was an interesting one, which is not always obvious. You will work with lots of other people. Try to make them successful. Don’t try to make yourself successful necessarily. Obviously you should work hard, but in life you have to work through others. No matter how brilliant, no matter how good you are, you can through your own merits, only succeed so much. But if you make other people successful, help them do their best, they in turn, will help you succeed and with the power of everybody helping you succeed, you will succeed beyond your dreams....."..... Looks like he took his advice rather seriously. I mean he really did try to help Raj Bhaiyya. A lot. And I am sure these charges are beyond Guptaji's dreams too...

Will there be talk of Match Fixing?

When my friends and I played cricket in our school days, some of us used to play with the 'big boys' because we were ... er... slightly better than the others in our own age group. Though these 'big boys' were only about four or five years older, it did mean quite a bit of difference in levels of performance. This 4/5 year age gap would not make much of a difference later on but when we were eleven and played against those who were sixteen and seventeen, it did. Quite a lot. This was especially true when facing the faster bowlers. Our reactions were just not quick enough to deal with the pace and bounce of the rubber ball. Needless to add this was a great source of entertainment for those idiots. But, I digress. Because some of us could not handle the pace of these 'big boys' we would get out deliberately when we knew a real fast bowler would be bowling next. And the results would be either very comical or wounding to our egos. But at any rate they were very obvious.

While I did not watch too much of the match today between Pakistan and New Zealand, I was tuned in when Shahid Afridi got out. He got out to a straight ball which did absolutely nothing. He played all around the same. It reminded me of the good old days when we were trying our damnedest to get out.

Now Afridi is not afraid of the 'big boys' who are going to bowl next, so what could have been the reason? He did not see the ball? Possible. He was trying out some new stroke. Yeah, why not. He was er... um... approached by some other kinds of 'big boys'? Well, I suspect that might be the suspicion of a few people.

Would be interesting to re-visit opinions about this match in a few days.

And while I am at it, congratulations to Ross Taylor on those brutal last few overs. And yes, Happy Birthday too.

EU Observers in Chhattisgrah high court

I am not certain about how I should react to the presence of EU Observers in the Chhattisgrah high court, but I think I am pissed off. I am normally quite quick to get pissed off about various things - things that concern me and those that have no relation to me but not this time.

The reason is pure and simple.

I have no clue about the role that these observers from EU are going to don. Are they there in the Chhattisgrah HC to ensure that there is a free trial? Are they there to ensure that charges against Dr Sen are dropped? Are they there to ensure that the trial is run according to what they perceive is the right way to do it? I am mighty confused. So I shall wait till the time I am sure of their role to get all vitriolic.

But as of now my thoughts, broadly, are: Should justice be served to Dr Binayak Sen? Without a shadow of doubt. Should EU observers be present in the HC to ensure that it happens? Like hell, NO. We are not some tinpot little country that needs that needs the ‘White Man’ to ensure that we behave in a civilized manner. I am not too sure if they visited Guantanamo Bay and/or Abu Ghraib so I see no reason for them to visit us and check if we dispense justice appropriately. (Sure, the one reason that they did not visit these places could be because no one invited them to visit, like our dear Teesta beheji did, but still I think the logic stands.)

While there is no doubt that there are individual cases of omission and commission, deficiencies in the upper judiciary are not so pronounced. I think we can do without these worthies here.

Of course the other thing that strikes me is that the Indian government should pick a case and tell the EU that it is not satisfied with the way their courts are handling it and say that it wants to monitor the same. And then let’s check their reaction. Would they allow us to do so or would they draw themselves up and stare down at us condescendingly? Now, that would be an interesting experiment to carry out.

26/11 - My take

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26/11 once again!!! The date evokes so much emotion that is hard to separate them and talk about them in a logical sense. First up my homage to the victims of the attack in Mumbai on 26/11.

I was holidaying in Hyderabad when the attacks happened and as a consequence did not get to know of it immediately. But I did soon enough. I saw enough and more of the attack, the rescue, our brave commandos and unfortunately our shrill & pain in the ass TV presenters on location. I don’t want to say more as I do not want to get into any litigation….. kehte hain akalmand ko ishara kaafi hai…..

Then the final shots were fired and there was collective euphoria and then soon enough collective anger.

The moralistic middle-class and the blaze upper class both got together to berate a whole range of people/institutions from the effete government to sleazy politicians to the main stream media to an extent and finally Pakistan. Funnily no one thought of blaming ourselves. We the people. Oh no. How could we be the ones to be blamed. After all we were the victims. Victims of an attack on our Taj.

And then started the candle light vigils and rallies. Even at that time when the entire atmosphere was charged and all Indians (well almost all) were wearing their patriotism on their sleeve I had nothing but contempt for this action. I mean what is this gonna achieve? (I also noticed and commented that there seemed to be more commemorative events/candle light vigils at the Taj and the Oberoi as opposed to the CST where the attack was worse. I remember even mentioning this to my students – in class – and splitting the class right down the middle. Some felt that I was right the others that I should not be seeing things from such a narrow prism. Anyway I digress… coming back to the point.)

So there were these rallies and these righteous affirmation of “enough is enough“ and Facebook Groups and Orkut Communities and then the Home Minister was removed and PC was in the saddle and then the Chief Minister of Maharashtra Vilasrao Deshmukh was removed and then a day or so later R.R. Patil was removed. There was euphoria. The middle-class had changed the dynamics of power. So Orkut and Facebook and bundles of candles really had the power to change things.

Well!

Really? Look around and let me know what exactly has changed? I do not see too many changes. The Facebook groups have not had any updates in ages. (Though I have not checked today) The muddle-class … oops the middle class warriors have gone back to their desk jobs/appearing for GMAT/GRE/CAT etc the politicians have gone back to their work and some in the case of RR Patil have come back.

We continue to be as apathetic as before. If any terror strike were to happen today I fear that the same things would get re-enacted. I hope I have got it wrong but I have a dirty feeling that I am not. It is so frustrating. What can I do to channelise this anger in a meaningful way? Rather than in some PR seeking manner that will get me acres of coverage but not get anything concrete done on the ground. Why is there this ennui about the coverage of the events of 26/11? Why am I still sitting on my bony ass and not doing a shit for my city for my country? And worst of all, the question that I dread answering: Were the inspired idiots of the candle light fame better than me. They at least got out of the house and held a candle. Doesn’t matter that the terrorists might have been laughing at the same. But at least they did something. Is that better than sitting around moping and wondering what could be done even a year after that carnage?

Questions and more questions. And I don’t pretend to have the answers. Would be glad if I could get some of them…

We Pass

I was an avid quizzer back home in Hyderabad in the late eighties. That was the era when quizzing was very a popular sport but was devoid of all the hype, showgiri and moolah that accompany it now. At that time I was part of teams that were among the best in business. Whether it was my school team or junior college one, we were the team to beat. In fact SPHS and LFJC were, in those days, synonymous with real high quality quizzing and my team and I merely continued the tradition. And boy did we continue it or what. I considered myself a real hot quizzer in those days but my team-mates were way better than I was. And as a team we constantly finished in the top three in most quizzes we competed in.

The usual format of quizzes was unlike the ones witnessed in other centres then. As in, we did not have written eliminations. Instead we would have about 70+ teams taking part in the oral quiz.

In this quiz the Quiz Master would be on stage and the teams seated in the hall. And the questions would pass from team to team. Some questions would pass all the way through the 70+ teams and still remain un-answered. Since this was a very time consuming process there was a policy of team members, of the teams that thought they knew the answers, raising their hands so that the mike would be passed on only to them.

Given that there were 70+ teams (each team having 3 members each) the hall (usually YMCA halls in Secunderabad or Narayanguda) would be littered with teams and even the passing of the mike was a time consuming one at times.

That was when we would, at times, get naughty. (such was the definition of naughty in those innocent times) We would raise our hands and pretend we had nailed the answer and since we were SPHS/LFJC, people would generally accept that we might indeed have the answer. And when the mike would ultimately be brought to us by the long suffering volunteer, we would very pompously say, "We pass the question." Basically kidagiri. Some people (read girls from NASR/St. Francis etc.) would giggle, the quiz master would look angry and the volunteer would glare at us. But we would be tremendously pleased with ourselves. This was a bigger achievement for us than winning the quiz. Fun times.

But why am I talking about all this now? Well, all this came back to me as I read a piece in TOI today about elections 2009 which read:
It was a painstaking exercise that left out nobody — not even the solitary voter in the Gir forest. Guru Bharatdasji Maharaj was the only voter there, but three poll officials went to collect his vote.

I just thought to myself that if Guru Bharatdasji is anything like what we were, he would probably have welcomed all the poll officials and then told them, "I pass. Me no vote."

Now wouldn't that have been fun?

IPL and National Loyalties

I find the IPL "clashes" particularly interesting because they seems to pit an intriguing set of players against each other. Take for instance day before yesterday's clash between Hayden and Sreesanth.

Hayden tonked Sree for a few sixes and then got out to him. That was when Sree let loose a volley of endearments at the Aussie. Hayden seemed rather angry at the activity by Sree and in the post-match conference had this to say, "Yeah, I think he is a particularly over-rated bowler. And so he was a great target for us to go at. He always loses his cool under pressure and I think it was a good example of that."

Haydos went on to add, "You don't want to know. It's just so meaningless. Mate ... I am a Test veteran and a one-day international veteran, I have got nothing to answer to him that's for certain,"

I will ignore the fact that a champion sledger cum bully like Hayden found someone sledging an opponent meaningless, unless of course he felt that it was not up to the mark set by the foul mouthed Aussies under Steve Waugh and then under Ricky Ponting. I will also ignore the fact that he seemed to be asking for respect by saying I am a veteran and so on...

I would rather focus on how team mates are going to react to the same. For instance if this incident had led to an altercation, whose side would Dhoni be on? Would Yuvi and Dhoni spar for their respective "boys"? I noticed Fidel Edwards and Gayle eye-balling each other in an earlier match. Would that lead to bad blood on the English tour? Not that I have seen too many matches but I have not seen too many Aussies going at each other. I wonder why?

I don't have any answers but I really am curious about how it will all pan out in the seasons to come. Would all of these alignments lead to any change in the way national teams interact with each other on the playing field? Or would the IPL stint be quickly forgotten once the cheque is in the bank and it is going to be business as usual when players don their respective national colours? Like I said, no answers but the thought is definitely intriguing.

The Economist and the Antiquated Dynastic Machine

How oh how did I miss this one? Must be age catching up with me or maybe it was just that work got in the way. But I missed out on something that was so obvious that I am ashamed to write about it a day after Times of India published it. What I mean is, I have due respect for TOI as an organisation and its ability to garner breaking news and all that but, how could I not see what a TOI journo saw as a newsworthy item.

I am referring to this article in The Economist - http://www.economist.com/opinion/displaystory.cfm?story_id=13492427 - which was quoted by Digvijay Singh and then used by Abhishek Manu Singhvi. They very proudly spoke about this piddly little line in the article that goes, "For this reason, The Economist, if it had a vote, would plump for Mr Singh’s Congress."

If only they took the trouble of reading the entire article... Let me share with you a few nuggets in the article, in case you decide not to read the entire thing.

Nugget No. 1:

Congress, despite able technocrats, like Mr Singh, remains an antiquated dynastic machine.

Good for Dr. Singh but what a line about the Congress party. Antiquated. Dynastic. But then I guess Diggy Raja would not mind these one bit. After all we know about all these don't we?

Nugget No. 2:

The prime ministership was bestowed on Mr Singh by Sonia Gandhi, the party’s Italian-born leader.

Now this one is not so complimentary to Dr. Singh is it? Hey wait. There is more to come...

Nugget No. 3:

He seems to be keeping the seat warm for her son, Rahul, a pleasant-seeming but unconvincing chap apparently destined to represent the fifth generation of his family to lead Congress.

So Dr. Singh is keeping the seat warm for Rahul baba is he? Now how is it different from what the BJP keeps talking about? Nightwatchman. Weakest Prime Minister et al. And Rahul baba is not the messiah that the Congress has made him out to be. He is an "unconvincing chap". Ouch.

Nugget No. 4:

Nor is the economically liberal Mr Singh a typical Congress-man. Much of the party is still nostalgic for the Nehruvian socialism that for so long impeded India’s growth.

This is not as damaging, but still, the talk about Neruvian socialism and how it was responsible for shackling India should be embarrassing to the Cong party.

Finally Nugget No. 5:

In power, the BJP also had a creditable record of economic management.

The article has not exactly been nice to the BJP but it definitely has given a thumbs up to the BJP's economic track record.

My suggestion to the Cong. spokespersons: Just as I tell my students to read the entire passage before they start answering questions in CAT/CET, my advice to the Congress-wallahs is read the entire article before you start waving it in front of the public and media. Especially in this day and age when access to information is not restricted just to the power elite.

Kolkata Knight Riders - Seedhi Baat. All Bakwas.

It is hilarious watching the Sprite ad featuring Shah Rukh Khan and the KKR team. And viewing it during a KKR match just doubles the pleasure because of the sheer ineptness of the KKR team and the "aptness" of the commercial.

Take a look at the commercial...

In it the chubby character who is the butt of the joke decides that the best way for KKR to win is by getting well built hatta katta log into the team. His reasoning: We need to scare the opposition if we want to win.

Enter Cool Dude Shah Rukh (incidentally the Fake IPL Player calls him the "Badshah Dildo") who takes a look at the team lined up by Chubby and then with his patented patronising curled lip smirk asks him to take a look at the team that HE, the Badshah, has assembled. There we see Dada, Murali Karthik and Agarkar etc. And then the denouement. Badshah Dildo then tells Chubby that it has to be Seedhi Baat No Bakwas...

Now here is the catch. That team selected by the Badshah is the only team that does not have any chance of getting into the Semi-final. Wonder if they should have taken Chubby's advice and played the team that he selected. Would have won them a couple of matched at least.

The display in the field yesterday was pathetic to say the least. They managed a decent score. - their highest in this IPL season and I thought that they would at least put up a good fight. But naah. Such things just don't seem to happen to the Kolkata Knight Riders. This time it was the fielding that was woeful. Gautam Gambhir, out of form for most part of this season, was thankfully escorted back into it by the very generous KKR fielders. And after the explosive Warner was dismissed the duo of Gambhir and Dilshan strolled home comfortably, with an over to spare. And most importantly they also spared SRK another pointless trip to South Africa. I am sure SRK is going to text them a Thank you message.

The IPL comedy show

I have not commented at all about the Indian Premier League, not because I have not seen any matches but because I have completely lost interest in the whole circus. It is not the change in venue that has impacted me, I would not have gone to any of the stadia in any case. It is just the ... I don't know how to put it... er... the artificiality of it all.

I dunno if it makes sense to you folks but somehow the entire atmosphere, at least in the initial stages, seemed extremely contrived. The commentators yelling about DLF sixes and Citi moments of success and Nano fours and Kamasutra twos and so on was off-putting to say the least. I thought such commercialisation kind of took something away from the game itself. I understand sponsors are important and they have every right to be treated well and should be able to get the maximum bang for their buck but I had a feeling that the DLFs and the Citis probably ought to see if they were not overdoing the sponsorship bit.

But that was not the only thing phony I thought. For some reason I felt that the crowd reaction to the camera focusing on them was also a shade phony. I know I know I am getting a bit too critical and all that but surely you guys have felt it too? No? Well, what can I say? The way I saw it was: No crowd in vast sections of the stadium, densely populated in a small section and that section reluctantly (at least to me) putting on a show for the camera. It was almost as if the producer went and gave each one of them a chocolate and said, "Guys, when the camera pans on you look enthu."

And these along with my general loss of interest in cricket combined to keep me away from IPL watching. Not any more.

What I witnessed yesterday in the Chennai Super Kings v/s Deccan Chargers was total paisa vasool. Not the entire match mind you. Just some portions of it. Boy oh boy was it hilarious or what.

This happened in the Deccan Chargers innings. First up Dwayne Smith smashed a ball which looped up with three fielders running towards it. Three, mind you. And who took the catch? Simple answer. None of them. Each one expecting the other to take it. Simple calling was not adhered to and the ball fell right between them. Never mind. Hota hai. Funny but not uproariously so. Then what does Smith bhai do? Oh! He hits an almost same shot which goes to the almost same spot and now it has not three but only two players converging on it. I presume the third player was hiding somewhere from acute embarrassment. And after converging on it the Chennai Super Clowns dropped it. Yeah sure, one way to look at it is that the effort was one better than the previous delivery. Boss, Tyagi got a hand to it did he not? Funny but not the funniest of the lot. That was reserved for when the Super Clowns attempted to run out Smith.

Smith smashed the ball to the off and the return was not collected cleanly by the bowler (Jatayu, Jataka, Jakati or something). Theekh hai happens all the time in cricket but hey what is that? Badrinath was backing up and threw the ball back to Jatayu who did not bother to collect the ball but broke the stumps with his elbow. Reprieve no. 2 for Smith and for Suman at the other end. But the S & S jodi along with Jatayu managed another moment of DLF madness (rather the DLF moment of madness). Badri ran to the wicket so that he could uproot the stumps but Jatayu was a looong way off, almost 10 feet away, and could only send the ball wide of Badri, who then promptly burst into an infuriated jig.

Trust me this kind of madness did not even occur when as a kid I used to play cork ball cricket at the Gagan Mahal grounds in Hyderabad. Not that our matches were short of craziness of any kind.

So now I am a born again fan of IPL and cricket and will surely tune in diligently for my daily dose of action and comedy. Not to mention superb dialogue delivery from the commentary box. Way to go Lalit Modi ji.

Er... By the way did I mention the Chennai Super Clowns.... oops The Chennai Super Kings won?

Sukhoi-30 crashes

In all the hullabaloo of the third phase of the election people seem to have missed out on a "minor" but important accident. An IAF Sukhoi-30 MKI fighter jet crashed at Rajmathai village, 170km from Jaisalmer town of Rajasthan on Thursday, killing one of its pilots.

We have gotten used to reading reports of the MIG-21 crashing almost regularly but this is the first time that a Sukhoi-30 MKI, which was inducted into IAF in 2002, has crashed.

A technical snag was what was behind the crash. While I have no much idea of fighter aircraft and their technical issues, I am just worried that the Su-30 does not become another series of "Flying Coffins" that the IAF flies.

Angry Mumbaikars vote - All 42% of them!!!

“Angry Mumbai wants answers” “Mumbai simmers with anger post terror attacks” and other angry headlines dominated newspapers and websites and Blogs immediately after 26/11.

Once the shock wore off started another set of headlines. This time they read “Thousands participate in candlelight vigils” and other variants of the same. (Incidentally I mentioned in class that all the candle light vigils seemed to be at the Taj and at the Gateway and none at the CST station. I suggested that participants in these activities seemed to be a very South Mumbai specific crowd that was shocked that their Taj was attacked as opposed to ordinary people who travel by train and BEST buses. Most students, surprisingly, agreed with my thinking.)

Then started the next phase where Facebook groups were started. Campaigns were initiated on how we need a CEO for Mumbai and about how it was high time politicians were held accountable for their actions.

I sat back bemused and wondered through all this if the average middle class/upper middle class Mumbaikar had suddenly become such a politically aware citizen. The other thought that I had was that this was, as usual, a result of a total disconnect between the English language media plus the Blogosphere – the two sources that I get my information from – and the Mumbaikar. My initial reaction was – balls, no middle/upper-middle/rich Mumbaikar can possibly be interested in politics. And that it is all a hype created by the media. I felt that all this would last till maybe December 26th 2008 and no further.

That is when I had a change of heart. I thought that I was increasingly becoming cynical in my dotage and that I should be willing to give the Cuffe Parade wallahs and the Bandra-ites their due. Maybe they had awakened to the fact that vigilance is indeed the eternal price of democracy.

Then came today (yesterday now). The first election post 26/11 and what do I see? A voter turnout of 42% - 45%. Well well well so much for citizen activism. So much for young voters who wanted to change the system. Where were they? Earning a well deserved break because we have 4 holidays in a row? Seriously where the hell is the middle class Mumbaikar? Or has the passage of five months completely driven the issue out of her mind?

For once I am terribly sad that I was right. I was right when I said that the Mumbaikar is not going to care beyond a month or two. I was right when I felt that creating Facebook groups will not translate into active participation in issues concerning the city/state/country. I was also right, unfortunately, that participation in candle light vigils will not translate into people walking out of their houses on a “holiday” and voting.

Damn when will the middle class Mumbaikar prove me wrong?

Ps: The Facebook group “In Remembrance of the 11/26 Mumbai Bombings & All Those Affected Discussions” has 9057 members and 13 discussion topics. The last Discussion Topic on 26/11 was on December 7th 2008. The latest one is on Greenpeace (April 28th 2009). So much for political and social activism.

Sher-e-Punjab!!!!

See it is like this, I have immense respect for the current Prime Minister Dr.Manmohan Singh and his abilities as an economist. And I also like the fact that he is this quiet individual who goes about his job without too much hullabaloo. A quintessential professional. In a political environment populated by loud mouths, extremely corrupt netas, murderers, smug buggers et al he is a breath of fresh air (even if 76 years old.)

At the other end of the spectrum is Rahul Gandhi, the dimpled darling of the Congress party and Mama Sonia, not necessarily in that order. Now he is someone I donot respect all that much. Maybe given time he is going to turn out just fine but as of now, respect for Rahul-ji? Nada. Nyet. NO.

So when Rahul-ji says that Dr. Manmohan Singh is the Sher-e-Punjab then I can only look on in an amused manner. The fact is that Dr. Manmohan Singh is not anywhere close to being a SHER... In fact if there is any label that could be applied to Dr. Singh then it should probably be "The Soporific Singh". The reason - His public speaking skills are really atrocious and I seriously believe that he is probably the worst speaker the Prime Minister's office has seen in India. Ever. And given that this includes worthies such as H.D. Deve Gowda that is saying something.

What amazes me is that an academic and that too one in the premier Schools of the country -Dr. Singh has taught at the Delhi School of Economics apart from JNU and Punjab University - could be this bad in speaking skills. I can well imagine the situation of students who attended his classes, especially post lunch... Zzzzzzzzz

And such a man Sher-e-Punjab... er Rahul-ji I think not. The Soporific Singh is a much better adjective.

IPL out of India – Good Riddance?

It is finally out in the open – the IPL circus is going to move out of the country. Lalit Modi has indicated that Boards of ALL countries have invited IPL to their shores. The South African Board has indicated its willingness and its ability to host the matches. So has the English cricket Board. These two are the front runners for the host status. The venue will be finalised tomorrow.

My primary reaction to this all is Good Riddance. I mean, who cares? Sure, I love cricket and have always loved it but was the IPL more important than the elections that are to be held in the same time frame? What about the security requirements for the entire tamasha? Does the BCCI have any inkling of the concerns of the security forces? And quite frankly when I go out to vote I want to know that the security is adequate and not learn that it is not at the optimum level because the BCCI wanted to hold the IPL at the same time.

I was quite shocked at the extent of security arrangement that was in place for the Chennai test against England. At that time it was understandable and probably required given the environment. But to have that kind of security for ALL the IPL matches at the exact same time as the elections was too much to ask for. In that context I am quite happy that it is out of India. If the SA and/or English Boards can make some moolah out of this junket then good for them.

My secondary response was: Is it The BCCI’s way of telling the Indian Govt. that it does not need it and that they, the BCCI, can obviously go where want to and also do what they want to? After all the BCCI is the un-crowned king of world cricket. It has taken on other Boards and has cowed down almost all of them. Now is it taking on governments? Or am I letting my imagination run riot? Probably. Probably not. I wonder what the next step would be.

I mean next year. If this forced experiment is a success then what is stopping the IPL from being staged overseas next year too? After all IPL is not exactly about any touchy feely things like sentiment, patriotism etc but about hardcore lucre. So does that mean that the IPL would be permanently staged outside India? Maybe. Would that be a problem? Again I don’t think so. After all how many of us watched it at a stadium? Not too many, right? So what is the problem if it held in Timbuktu? Just watch the damn thing on TV like you did last time round. (That is, if the row between Sony and BCCI is settled before the tournament commences.) And count yourself lucky that you don’t have to go to the yucky stadia in India and can watch the matches in the comfort of your home.

Now what happens to the franchisees? The previous time none of the Franchisees made any money. So given the logistics that are required for IPL-2 would getting into the black be pushed further back? The IPL, according to Lalit Modi, would not be making any profits this year. Well, the BCCI was the only entity making money and now if it is not going to, I am fairly certain that the franchisees would not either.

Of course franchisees would be happy that is at least being held this year but I would really like to figure out how sound a business proposition the IPL is for the team owners. Or is it just a PR exercise for most of them?

Whether the IPL will continue to be staged overseas or not, whether franchisees make money or not, whether cricketers slap each other or not, whether there are any close finishes or not; I sure find the run up to the IPL as exciting as any 20/20 cricket match. And with Messrs Modi and Pawar at the helm of affairs I am fairly certain that there is more excitement coming our way before IPL-2 ends.

Mock Interviews

I know that elsewhere on this blog I have been rather critical of students who appear for interviews to get into an MBA programme, but must admit I did find a couple of interesting candidates the last time I interviewed a bunch of students.

I have been conducting a series of mock-interviews for those students who have got the "CAT calls" and obviously a large percentage is engineers. And the profile is almost always the same.... Engineer/IT sector/2-3 years work experience/completely disenchanted with IT etc. But at times there are these students who stand out among the group. (Before people start off about my prejudice against engineers, let me clarify that I do not have any and the description above is just that - a description)

A couple of days back I interviewed this dude (a fresher) who is an amateur graphologist and who had read and digested the Mahabharata/Prince/Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance/Brothers karamazov etc. and wanted to be asked questions on those books. The reason? He wanted to speak about his passion for reading and wanted to check if his knowledge of trivia about these books was as good as his thought it was.

I of course obliged. Asked him questions on the Mahabharata ranging from first warrior to be killed at Kurukshetra to the astra used to slay Karna to the names of Draupadi's children etc. He answered all of them and then as he was stepping out saw me writing my comments on the interview pad. He then leaned forward and started to read what I was writing. I was a bit taken aback with this but he then revealed that he was an amateur graphologist and that he wanted to "read" my handwriting. He started to analyse my handwriting without as much as a by your leave and then proceeded to write down all my "qualities". Got about 60% right must say.

This interview was only an aperitif. Then there was this girl (another fresher) who had interests in palmistry, [had my palm read ;-)] wanted to become a crystal-ball gazer, was about to learn tarot card reading and planned to start a chocolate business after her MBA. She had already conducted "field trials" in her chocolate business by making and distributing chocolates in class and had got positive "reviews" and was confident of being able to cater to discerning consumers.

Was a refreshing change from all those who aspire to rise in the corporate hierarchy and become "Manger in a Big Company". I am not saying that these two will make to the IIMs/TISS or whichever other institute that they had calls from. I am not even saying that this is the template that should be followed by others. All I am saying is that in a universe of much of a muchness it probably helps if you genuinely have interests that are slightly hatke and if you have adequate knowledge about the same. It probably helps if you can attract the attention of the rather jaded interviewers and then impress them with your undoubted knowledge in that field. Without arrogance or a know-it-all attitude.

May more such hatke thinkers/doers bloom in the B-School environment.

Dutts da story

I need to rush to take my class in Thane but a quick glance at the Blogosphere tells me that something important is up. And has been so for a couple of days.

We have had the issue of Mean Stream.... oops I meant Main Stream media attack Bloggers for lack of credibility etc. NOW it has been taken to new heights.

NDTV and Barkha Dutt seem to have used legal measures to silence a Blogger. Should we all get agitated? Or should we wait to see what exactly happened here. I mean was there threat/coercion etc and then react? It is obviously right to wait and find out what really happened but the problem in all that is that the Blogger will have to explain all that has happened but might not be in a position to. For obvious reasons ... might get into further trouble.
So I have a simple request for Barkha Dutt, you already have a powerful platform which you use in a wonderfully balanced and mature fashion. Why don't you this platform to educate all of us ignorant twits why you are so correct and why Chyetanya Kunte was so absolutely wrong. It would be a better way for us to be informed.

But more than anything else I believe that Bloggers should be united and maybe form a support system. After all the question is who will guard the guardians?

Email Blackout

As the New Year dawned, in a flurry of excitement for some and in somnolence for others like me, I noticed that my email wasn't showing its customary activity. Ignored it for a while but now realise that the email is down. Seriously bad time for it to do that and I wonder if it is an indication of things to come!!!

I seem to be able to live without TV, newspapers, sometimes food when my Dabbawalla conveniently forgets to send me my dinner/lunch and human company but lack of either Net connectivity and/or lack of facility to check out my email really gets to me. I wonder if this could be the Net addiction that people talk about.

Be that as it may it is getting seriously painful... sitting in front of the laptop and not receiving any mail. And I know that there are plenty that will be sent by my friends across the world. I can sense one that tells me to immediately increase the size of some part of my body. My friends being concerned about my "woman" not being satisfied... Er how did they know??? Or one that tells me to decrease the size of some other part.... Or, of course my friends from Nigeria who are all in so much trouble. All at once. So much so that they need my help in moving funds!!! Me, who even a blind man in a bank branch does not ask for help with any cash withdrawals. Sometimes I worry about my friends. They seem to care a lot about me and trust me a lot. But well friends will be friends. But then all is not dark. I have my friends who believe that I am in the market for $20,000 wrist watches which they are willing to sell to me at $230. I mean if an individuals wealth is measured by his friends then I have the bestest lot.

And this silly email snafu is causing me to miss out on all the interaction with my friends. Damn. Life is tough. Hopefully the mail will be up and running and I can start interacting with my dost log once again.

Hey we have a New Home!!!

Hey 2009 might just be the year when I shed my customary laziness. I had decided to run The India Story from my own URL - http://www.indyeahstory.com/ - a few minutes back and usually when I decide to do something it means ............... Nothing... but wonder of wonders I have actually gone and done it.

Scary ...... Seriously scary... Now I better be careful of what I decide to do. ;-)

About the name, it is a play on the name India... with the YEAH showing attitude, and the good old "story" following. Also, I am now running a website http://www.indyeahinc.com/ This is a community driven media site for the management crowd... so maybe this is a beginning of the Indyeah... series of websites. ;-) Well! who knows, who knows???

Looks like 2009 will be a busy blogging year

New Year Resolutions ......

Hi All,

2009 has had a fantastic start so far. I thought I would put together a set of resolutions and stick to them. So far I have not put together the resolutions so there is no way I could have broken them. ;-)

I wonder if one of the Resolutions should be - Don't be LAZY - but then I am digressing. The point is apparently New Year Resolutions are not a good thing to do!!! So .... should I or should I not?

Be the case as it may, the one resolution that I intend to keep is blogging more often. This posting once in 6 months thingy is getting seriously embarassing. So, whether the world likes it or not, can stand it or not here's to a more prolific Blogging year.

Ciao
Gautam

He Just Did It

I just did it. And with that cryptic comment Viswanathan Anand announced to his wife that he had won the World Championship. Anand won the World championship a few hours back with a comprehensive victory over Vladimir Kramnik. Beating Kramnik three times in a series is quite remarkable because as Anand himself pointed out Kramnik hardly loses three times in a year. Such was the superiority of Anand on the board.

And this was a superiority gained by hard labour. In fact so intense has been his preparation for the title defence that he stayed ignorant of all the goings on in the world around him. Not for him the financial turmoil engulfing the world or the US Presidential elections, it was just the World Championship and nothing else.

With this victory Anand has won the World Championship in three different formats – the 128 player knockout format in 2000, the eight-player double round-robin field last year and now Match-Play format. This triumph also means that he is only the second player in history, after Bobby Fischer, to have scored over the Soviets/Russians in the Match-Play format.

Now what I want to see is what his reception is going to be when he gets back home. When our cricket brats won the T20 World Cup there was an open bus parade for them all the way from the Mumbai airport to the Wankhede stadium. Will Anand get that kind of reception or will he just be met by a few officials at the Chennai airport?

I wonder what the reason is for the lack of popularity of Anand among the masses. Is it that Chess is a more cerebral game than cricket and therefore not something that would excite the masses? Or is it personality based? I mean Anand after all is the nicest, quietest most self-deprecating guy around. Could that be the reason? Would he have been more top of the mind if he had an affair or two with starlets or had drunken orgies in Chennai/Mumbai/Delhi etc.?

But hey I am digressing. These musings are probably for another day, another time. Right now it is time to celebrate a true World Champion in our midst. You “Just did it” dude.

Welcome to the real world kids

I thought I would share with all of you a letter that I wrote to my favourite nephew, Mr. Sacked Jet Employee Who Has Now Been Rehired a.k.a. Sajet, and his friends.

Dear Sajet,

I know that this is as good a time to write to you as any and I thought why delay doing something that has to be done. After all, all of you have been re-hired after an emotion packed tear jerker played out on national TV.

However guys, while others have looked at this issue with a fair degree of concern I have only felt a degree of faint amusement. Amusement not at your plight for 48 hours but at the fact that you guys felt the good times would always roll.

Hey welcome to the real world kiddos. That is not how the world operates and contrary to what you think, it does not even owe you a livelihood. Forget a posh one.

In the recent past it was almost de rigueur for all you fresh graduates, MBAs, engineers to jump from one ship to another. Almost as if the companies were going out of fashion. You belong to a generation that has not seen any pain on the professional front. All you knew was that you were earning salaries at the start of your careers, that your parents might have been earning after 25/30 yrs of service. And you saw no point in exercising restraint. Either in conspicuous consumption or in splurging on credit. Or in any activity in the social sphere. It was almost as if it was your birth right. You have bought yourselves bikes, cars, holidays and houses in up-market areas. Good for you. But did you for a moment think about the commitment that you were making to the financial institutions you were borrowing from? For time frames ranging from 2 years to 25 years? Or did you think that these commitments were also like the relationships you guys are allegedly getting into – a month or so and then move in with someone else?

It was a nightmare for the HR departments to keep the attrition levels down. Why? Simply because if you were in any way irked by the service conditions in the organisation or if someone down the road gave you a 10% hike you would take that and to hell with the process and the team and the organisation that you were leaving behind. The gods were there for all you kids who felt that the world was created according to your dictates. All this is very well till it lasts but then the gods spat on you or at least are beginning to.

And what have you, the first lot done? Gone whining to the local political leadership and the media. Why is that? Did you go to the local leadership or did the Company go to such leaders when you kept jumping from one job to the other? You did that because you considered it your privilege. Boss now the shoe is on the other foot.

Now I don’t think you can jump so blithely from one job to the other. Primarily because I don’t think there is another job waiting for you. Not in the BPO sector, not for the engineering grads, not for the IIMs guys who until recently were under the impression that it was only losers who did their summers here in India. (ok this one might be a bit of an exaggeration from my side) Now you are screwed because you believed the myth that everyone of the idiot commentators on TV were feeding you. That is, this level of prosperity will continue for ever and ever, amen.

Well I have news for you. It will not. Wake up and smell the coffee.

And when you do get the shove as some of you will definitely get as this recession gets uglier, take it on the chin like grown ups and get your act together. You might have got back your jobs for now, based on god knows what behind-the-scene wheeling and dealing. But take it from me, your well-wisher, that good times do not roll for ever. See, you guys enjoyed yourself when the going was good. Now it is not. Toughen up and don’t go crying to the media and/or politicians. If you did not want this uncertainty then you should not have taken up this profession. You should have gone into …. maybe govt. jobs. Or the academia or some such stable profession where you would have got safety of tenure. No, you did not do that because you wanted to have the fun ride provided by the private sector.

Nothing wrong in that. Only thing is that if you wanted the upside of higher salaries, better perks, hotter chicks/dudes etc. then you should be ready for the downside too. As they say if you can’t take the heat get out of the kitchen.

Have fun beta. And don’t forget to update your resume. Just in case.

Yours lovingly,
Concerned Uncle

Yechury and the Tatas

I can understand the frustration of the Marxists with the loss of the Tata Nano project to Gujarat but surely even such acute disappointment does not warrant the asinine statement that Mr. Sitaram Yechury supposedly made on the telly yesterday.

For those who are not in the know Yechury said, “You cannot go into an area and say I will build my house only if everyone gives the assurance that it will not be burgled.”

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Seriously Yechury garu, is that what the Tatas were saying? Or were they saying that we will build a house only if we are sure that there is no goon in the area attempting to intimidate us, only if we are sure our family members won’t get beaten up, only if we are sure that our house won’t be gheraoed, only if we are sure that all movement will be allowed from the main road to our house and a general environment of ‘these guys are not welcome in the neighbourhood’ changed?

Very clearly the Tatas were not saying what Yechury is suggesting and therefore to blame the Tatas by twisting the reasons does not behove a senior and respected politician like him.

Like I have written before, the entire issue of land acquisition needs to be looked at in greater depth but I definitely feel that it is the responsibility of the government concerned to manage the politics of it. And here the Marxists failed miserably. It cannot be anyone’s case that the company that has acquired land should be left to fend for itself in the event of any political agitation. And a political agitation that was launched against an action the West Bengal government was involved in. If the agitation was against some actions by the Tatas or if there was an agitation because of misgivings regarding the cost to the environment then very clearly it is the company itself that has to sort out that mess. But land acquisition – now that is entirely the state government’s responsibility.

Therefore, Yechury garu, I suggest you speak to Comrades Bhattacharya and Sen and check with them as to why they were not able to contain the agitation and not attack the Tatas pointlessly.

From Singur to Sanand & from a Bad M to a Good M

The Nano has found a new home – Gujarat. According to an announcement made earlier today the Tatas will set up the plant in an 1100 acre plot at Sanand, close to Ahmedabad. The planned capacity of the plant is 5 lakh cars a year, up from the Singur plant's proposed capacity of 3 lakh cars. Finally Tata can get going on his pet project.

I believe that the entire Nano saga raises a couple of issues.

The first one is very clearly that of land acquisition for industrial production. I believe that the entire process of acquiring land should be dealt with in a much more transparent and humane manner. I do not want to go into the specifics of the agitation at Singur but on a broader scale, when people are being asked to give up their land for industrialisation, the social and cultural costs need to be evaluated along with the economic costs. I suspect we are not doing that at the moment.
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The second is whether Modi is now beginning to cast off the opprobrium of 2002. The Sangh Parivar and large sections of Gujarat always saw him as a dynamic and result oriented CM. But after this coup of his will the corporate sector and India at large also buy into the Modi story? Or as Tata put it, “the Good M” theory?

The issue with Modi was always his acceptability among people outside Gujarat. But with this very clear demonstration of seriousness of intent in working for the development of the state and the speed with which he made the government machinery move Modi, I suspect, will begin to acquire a halo even outside the state. The “From a Bad M to a Good M” comment of Ratan Tata could well be the tipping point as far as Modi’s career on the national stage is concerned. After all it does signal a high level of acceptability for the man from one of the most respected names in corporate India.

Sourav to retire after the Oz series

The curtain is beginning to fall on the Fab Four with Sourav Ganguly announcing his retirement from international cricket at the end of the Australian tour. Of course the immediate question on peoples mind would be whether there was any “compromise formula” that was arrived at with the new Selection Panel for a dignified send off. Whatever be it I think he has chosen to go at the appropriate time.

When I look back at Sourav’s career it is not his silken grace on the off-side that immediately comes to mind, not the ease with which he took on spinners, not the imperiousness in captaincy or the lethargic running between the wickets and not even the impromptu jig on the balcony of Lord’s. It very clearly is the 2001 Test Series against the Australians.
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The 2001 Test series was definitely the crowning glory of his career primarily because of the way in which it was won. I particularly liked the way in which he got under the skin of Steve “oh I am ice cool” Waugh.

Was it proper to keep Waugh waiting for the toss? Was it proper to not give him the list of the final eleven on time? Not really. But was it (is it) proper for the Aussies to sledge in the middle? According to them it was mental disintegration. So was this. Just that it was a different kind of mental disintegration. It was a gutsy, in your face, devil may care attitude that India had not seen from her cricketers in a long time or maybe never at all. No wonder people were surprised to see that. And it worked. (Of course assisted by Messrs VVS, The Wall and Bhajji.)

The satisfying part was that Steve Waugh was made to eat humble pie. I remember all that talk of the “Final Frontier” was really beginning to grate. It was almost as if, on the back of their 15 test winning streak, they just had to turn up and they would achieve it. But boy were they in for a surprise. To me, more than the victory itself it was the humbling of the Aussie pride that was satisfying.

Just for achieving that one series victory, in my book, Ganguly deserves his place in the pantheon of Indian greats.

One Night Stand

One of the interesting aspects of any language especially English, is the way certain words and phrases evolve. More so with English than with other languages because of the sheer diversity of people who speak the language.

The other day I was in class taking an introductory session on Group Discussions for the CAT 2008 aspirants. As part of the lecture I checked with the students about their reading habits and whether they read anything other than the recommended text books. There were sheepish grins all round and then a few talked about their newspaper reading habits and some spoke of a novel or two that they had read and so on.

One of the students was very honest and very categorical. He confessed that he did absolutely no reading and when I asked him about his coursework he said, “Well, I do a one night stand before the exam and I find that it helps me crack the paper.” I was rather taken aback but quickly gathered my wits and checked with him as to how a one-night stand helped him crack the exam!!! I probably should not have … it being a class and all that but still…..

He further flummoxed me by saying that, “You know all of us in the hostel get together and we have a one night stand and all of us ace the exam.” This really set my mind racing… and I was about to go into it a bit more thoroughly when some other student came to my rescue and defined a One night stand in today’s engineering colleges. It simply means studying for the semester exams just the night before each paper.
Well well well. From meaning:

“a single performance in one locale, as by a touring theatrical company, before moving on to the next engagement.”

To

“a single, unrepeated sexual encounter, as one lasting for just one night.”

To

“studying for the exam just the night before”

Quite a journey that. All in 200 years. Not bad at all.

Akhil Kumar outboxed

Damn man! Akhil Kumar has lost in the quarter finals of the 54kg bantamweight class. He was beaten by Republic of Moldova's Veaceslav Gojan 10-3. I am no boxer but as early as the end of Round One I had the feeling that Akhil would lose.

The reason was quite obvious - the Moldovan was fighting a very tactical fight. Not allowing any of Akhil's punches to get through his defences and though our man tried valiantly to pierce it, it was to no avail. While the first two rounds were even-stevens the last two were almost boxing lessons for the young Indian boxer. It was not that he was punished by the referees, though the Indian coach did mention that a few of Akhil's punches were not registered. It was just that he lost to the boxer who was more prepared for the fight.

I do not know what kind of preparation is done in boxing but I wonder if the kind of analysis that is done in cricket these days is attempted. I mean in terms of studying the opponent and coming up with tactics to beat him. I say this because I feel that is what the Moldovan did. Figured out the way Akhil boxes and prepared a game plan accordingly.

Well anyway there still are another two boxers in contention. Hope we can get some medal from those two guys.

Oh! And talking of our heroes in Blue, they were yet again handed an abject lesson in cricket. The analysis etc that happens in cricket do not seem to have helped. They were pummeled by the Lankans. I have a feeling that this is going to be the trend in the entire series.

Chiranjeevi enters Politics - Finally

So Chiru has decided to enter politics…. Finally!!! I watched the entire press conference over and over again on TV. Not that I had much of a choice…. all Telugu channels were beaming nothing but Chiru annaiya and his press conference.
And he did not disappoint. He got all his lines down pat and also did not forget to turn on the charm.
I for one am certainly looking forward to his party shaking up the established political duopoly in AP. He has the fan following across the state to make a serious bid for power and I do think he is right when he says that there is a political vacuum and therefore space for another political party. Chiranjeevi also has the credentials in that he has established a Blood Bank and has involved himself with other social service activities. Shows he has his heart in the right place.
Having said that, I have a few observations about Chiru’s new party.
For starters I am less than impressed by the fact that in some regions of Andhra Pradesh, particularly Rayalaseema, there have been quite a few defections from the Telugu Desam into the yet to be named party. The general feeling is that people from the Congress will begin to migrate to his party once the elections are announced. Congressmen who perceive a brighter chance of getting elected if they join him will definitely do so. Nothing wrong in people migrating to other parties, the best of politicians have done it: Chandrababu Naidu, V.P. Singh etc etc. Chiru himself defended it stoutly by saying that there was nothing wrong in having people who believe in him and his ideology join him. True. No doubt about that one. But still for a party that has come about because they believe that there is a political vacuum and that they should bring about change I think this is a bit strange.
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I mean what change are they going to bring about if all the key party functionaries are people who have been in politics for a long time? And especially those who have been part and parcel of the rough and tumble of factional politics in Rayalaseema.
The other issue is that Chiru kept talking about Youth. Looking at the kind of celebrations that accompanied the announcements and also the general attitude of the ‘youth’ I have a feeling that it is nothing more than just hero-worshipping youngsters who are taken in by his glamour.
A few months back there was the ugly incident where another Telugu film star Dr. Rajasekhar when asked if he would join Chiranjeevi’s party replied in the negative and also questioned Chiru’s political experience. This was enough to set off the Chiru fan association. They physically attacked Rajashekar and his family and it took the intervention of Chiranjeevi to cool tempers. This just goes to show the kind of people who are supporting him. All very well if he is trying to get together a bunch of storm troopers but since that does not seem to be his objective he very clearly needs to control these elements in his party. The question is, can he?
The other thing is that it is not very clear who he means by Youth. The unemployed youth? The rural youth? College going youth? I am slightly confused about it all.
While there is no doubt that he can mobilize the crowds the question is can he keep them with him for another year till the elections? These are people who are very clearly high on adrenalin. Just the right sort to generate enthusiasm when a party is being launched but are they the sort who will stay the course when it comes to organisation building? Building and sustaining an organisation is completely different from riding on the streets on bikes, waving flags and bursting crackers. But then maybe I am wrong, only time will tell.
The other thing that he very clearly needs to spell out is his views on Telangana. There already are people who are quitting the TRS to join Chiru’s new party. And they are of the view that Chiru will support the breaking away of the Telangana region from AP. If Chiru decides otherwise then there will be a lot of malcontents in his party. He hails from coastal Andhra and has a very strong following in the Rayalseema region. I am not too sure if supporting Telangana will go down well in those parts, esp. in coastal Andhra. Not a great situation either way. He avoided responding to any question regarding this issue but unlikely that he can duck this one for much longer. If he does not make his stance clear on the 26th then there is bound to be disappointment.
When NTR launched the Telugu Desam and was cris-crossing Andhra Pradesh on his Chaitanya Ratham in 1983/84, he called the Naxals Freedom Fighters when he crossed into Khammam district - then the hotbed of Naxal violence. Now this is not something Chiru can afford to say or do. How he deals with the Naxal issue is another thing that will be interesting to say the least.
I am also slightly uncomfortable about people who talk about Mother Teresa as their role model. I know I know. It is irrational, disrespectful and totally unfair but there it is. I guess everyone is allowed their idiosyncrasies and this is mine. I mean the moment anyone talks about Mother Teresa being their role model I am reminded of all the Beauty Queens who used to dutifully trot out her name during various pageants. But then let me give Chiru the benefit of doubt. Maybe he really is inspired by Mother Teresa! After all he has proved that with his various associations with Charitable organisations.
Anyway I am glad that Chiru has taken the first step. I now look forward to the 26th to see what he has to say in terms of the agenda for his party and what his plans for the future are. Until then I will keep my euphoria on hold.

All the VERY BEST Chiru.

View my site: http://www.cafezika.com/

Hyderabad Blasts

I have just got back home from my office at Bowenpally in Secunderabad and have realized that there has been an explosion at Lumbini Park in Hyderabad.

Thanks to a lengthy chat that I had with my colleague Arkss I was delayed at work and therefore hitched a ride with RP up to Himayatnagar. I then happened to take the route via Koti where 15-20 minutes earlier there was another blast. This time at the well-known Gokul Chat.

While there I happened to interact with someone who was at the site when the blast took place and he mentioned that there could have been at least 20-25 people who took a direct hit and lost their lives. He talked about how people (shopkeepers, shoppers etc.) swung into action and put the injured into autorickshaws and sent them to the Gandhi and Osmania hospitals.

By the time I was walking past the site the Fire Tenders had arrived and the police had cordoned off the area. Yet I noticed that Ambulances were finding it difficult to get through because of the dense traffic and also because the bloody ordinary Hyderabadi refuses to give way even to an Ambulance. I noticed a couple of the Ambulances getting caught even as I was traveling towards Koti but obviously, at that point, did not know the gravity of the issue.
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While I was at the accident site (at the time of writing it is still not clear if the blast at Gokul Chat was caused by a cylinder explosion or by a bomb blast) I noticed that the police had more or less gained control over the situation.

But what really saddened me was the behaviour of some of the people at the site. While at the time that I passed by Gokul Chat there was not much the general citizen could have done to help the injured, surely there was no need to block the other side of the road and gawk as if there was a film-shooting going on.

This crowd was also impeding the free flow of traffic that caused a traffic pile up at the Koti Women’s College end leading to a further delay in Ambulances traveling from the Chaderghat side getting to the spot.

That we don’t do much to help our fellow citizen is bad enough (I am obviously including myself here) but if we are the reason why a badly injured person can’t be taken to hospital in double quick time then there is a problem somewhere in the way we as a community/nation behave.

I know that this post is fairly disjointed but then again I have probably not been as disturbed as I am now.

My heart goes out to the families of the victims many of whom cannot possibly be identified right away and hope they somehow find the strength to deal with this tragedy. And I really really hope that the number of fatalities does not rise over night.

But seriously this has put in perspective a lot of things for me. If I had walked past that place 20 minutes earlier then I too would have been lying in a pool of blood. And there I was an hour earlier, in office, talking about my future.

As if I control anything.

Netas & their Court Cases

It’s been a long long time since I have posted anything. In fact I should probably consider myself a newbie at blogging given the time that has elapsed since the last post. Be that as it may I thought I should get down to some serious writing, at least on the weekends. So here is the second coming.

I was at some point in time, quite long ago really, a fan of Swaminathan S. Anklesaria Aiyar and his column “Swaminomics” in the Times of India. Over the years kind of felt he was losing his grip. But a couple of weeks back he came out with a gem that puts him right on top of my favourites list once again.

In the article “Ten commandments for Dr. Singh”, Swaminathan has come out with, “Thou shalt propose a law giving seniority to all cases of elected legislators over all others.”

I think it is a brilliant suggestion. More so because of its utter simplicity. I wonder why our founding fathers did not think of this simple bit of legislation. Maybe they never imagined that a day would come when the state legislatures and also the Parliament would play host to people we would rather have behind bars.

However the situation now is that there are hordes of criminals getting into politics. We even have a situation where there are people who contest elections from behind bars.

And get elected.

Obviously these gentlemen aspire to be public representatives not out of any altruistic nature or a burning desire to serve society but because it gives them the clout to stall/halt judicial proceedings against themselves.

Now if getting elected to any official position becomes a catalyst for all the pending cases against them to be brought to the front burner, then only the most brain dead of criminals would like to be involved in the political process.

I would go further to suggest that all state legislatures and the Parliament should have a fast track court established on their premises to try the worthies who have broken the law. Why should courts be located inside State Assemblies? Can’t justice be served from the current premises of the High Courts? Of course it can. Just can’t resist the idea that as Legislators enter the Assembly they can also see the Annexe of the High Court and know for certain that they can’t escape a visit to its premises if they run foul of the law.

And for career politicians who have a lot of frivolous cases registered against them, there is nothing to despair. Because all the law would say is that, “all your cases will be fast tracked and tackled by a special court”. So in case of complaints that are completely frivolous or are obviously the result of leading an agitation against some policy of the government they could also get some judicial respite. Immediately. And such a rule should be welcomed by those politicians who claim that they are being victimized.

However if the cases are serious such as murder, rape, extortion, kidnapping and other such allied activities that some of our illustrious leaders indulge in then the law should take its own course and that too bloody quickly.
I think this would be a great way to clean up the system. Wonder if there is some way in which one can achieve this.

Any ideas folks?