Friday, May 15, 2009

We Pass

I was an avid quizzer back home in Hyderabad in the late eighties. That was the era when quizzing was very a popular sport but was devoid of all the hype, showgiri and moolah that accompany it now. At that time I was part of teams that were among the best in business. Whether it was my school team or junior college one, we were the team to beat. In fact SPHS and LFJC were, in those days, synonymous with real high quality quizzing and my team and I merely continued the tradition. And boy did we continue it or what. I considered myself a real hot quizzer in those days but my team-mates were way better than I was. And as a team we constantly finished in the top three in most quizzes we competed in.

The usual format of quizzes was unlike the ones witnessed in other centres then. As in, we did not have written eliminations. Instead we would have about 70+ teams taking part in the oral quiz.

In this quiz the Quiz Master would be on stage and the teams seated in the hall. And the questions would pass from team to team. Some questions would pass all the way through the 70+ teams and still remain un-answered. Since this was a very time consuming process there was a policy of team members, of the teams that thought they knew the answers, raising their hands so that the mike would be passed on only to them.

Given that there were 70+ teams (each team having 3 members each) the hall (usually YMCA halls in Secunderabad or Narayanguda) would be littered with teams and even the passing of the mike was a time consuming one at times.

That was when we would, at times, get naughty. (such was the definition of naughty in those innocent times) We would raise our hands and pretend we had nailed the answer and since we were SPHS/LFJC, people would generally accept that we might indeed have the answer. And when the mike would ultimately be brought to us by the long suffering volunteer, we would very pompously say, "We pass the question." Basically kidagiri. Some people (read girls from NASR/St. Francis etc.) would giggle, the quiz master would look angry and the volunteer would glare at us. But we would be tremendously pleased with ourselves. This was a bigger achievement for us than winning the quiz. Fun times.

But why am I talking about all this now? Well, all this came back to me as I read a piece in TOI today about elections 2009 which read:
It was a painstaking exercise that left out nobody — not even the solitary voter in the Gir forest. Guru Bharatdasji Maharaj was the only voter there, but three poll officials went to collect his vote.


I just thought to myself that if Guru Bharatdasji is anything like what we were, he would probably have welcomed all the poll officials and then told them, "I pass. Me no vote."

Now wouldn't that have been fun?

Saturday, May 09, 2009

IPL and National Loyalties

I find the IPL "clashes" particularly interesting because they seems to pit an intriguing set of players against each other. Take for instance day before yesterday's clash between Hayden and Sreesanth.

Hayden tonked Sree for a few sixes and then got out to him. That was when Sree let loose a volley of endearments at the Aussie. Hayden seemed rather angry at the activity by Sree and in the post-match conference had this to say, "Yeah, I think he is a particularly over-rated bowler. And so he was a great target for us to go at. He always loses his cool under pressure and I think it was a good example of that."

Haydos went on to add, "You don't want to know. It's just so meaningless. Mate ... I am a Test veteran and a one-day international veteran, I have got nothing to answer to him that's for certain,"

I will ignore the fact that a champion sledger cum bully like Hayden found someone sledging an opponent meaningless, unless of course he felt that it was not up to the mark set by the foul mouthed Aussies under Steve Waugh and then under Ricky Ponting. I will also ignore the fact that he seemed to be asking for respect by saying I am a veteran and so on...

I would rather focus on how team mates are going to react to the same. For instance if this incident had led to an altercation, whose side would Dhoni be on? Would Yuvi and Dhoni spar for their respective "boys"? I noticed Fidel Edwards and Gayle eye-balling each other in an earlier match. Would that lead to bad blood on the English tour? Not that I have seen too many matches but I have not seen too many Aussies going at each other. I wonder why?

I don't have any answers but I really am curious about how it will all pan out in the seasons to come. Would all of these alignments lead to any change in the way national teams interact with each other on the playing field? Or would the IPL stint be quickly forgotten once the cheque is in the bank and it is going to be business as usual when players don their respective national colours? Like I said, no answers but the thought is definitely intriguing.


Thursday, May 07, 2009

The Economist and the Antiquated Dynastic Machine

How oh how did I miss this one? Must be age catching up with me or maybe it was just that work got in the way. But I missed out on something that was so obvious that I am ashamed to write about it a day after Times of India published it. What I mean is, I have due respect for TOI as an organisation and its ability to garner breaking news and all that but, how could I not see what a TOI journo saw as a newsworthy item.

I am referring to this article in The Economist - http://www.economist.com/opinion/displaystory.cfm?story_id=13492427 - which was quoted by Digvijay Singh and then used by Abhishek Manu Singhvi. They very proudly spoke about this piddly little line in the article that goes, "For this reason, The Economist, if it had a vote, would plump for Mr Singh’s Congress."

If only they took the trouble of reading the entire article... Let me share with you a few nuggets in the article, in case you decide not to read the entire thing.

Nugget No. 1:
Congress, despite able technocrats, like Mr Singh, remains an antiquated dynastic machine.
Good for Dr. Singh but what a line about the Congress party. Antiquated. Dynastic. But then I guess Diggy Raja would not mind these one bit. After all we know about all these don't we?

Nugget No. 2:
The prime ministership was bestowed on Mr Singh by Sonia Gandhi, the party’s Italian-born leader.
Now this one is not so complimentary to Dr. Singh is it? Hey wait. There is more to come...

Nugget No. 3:
He seems to be keeping the seat warm for her son, Rahul, a pleasant-seeming but unconvincing chap apparently destined to represent the fifth generation of his family to lead Congress.
So Dr. Singh is keeping the seat warm for Rahul baba is he? Now how is it different from what the BJP keeps talking about? Nightwatchman. Weakest Prime Minister et al. And Rahul baba is not the messiah that the Congress has made him out to be. He is an "unconvincing chap". Ouch.

Nugget No. 4:
Nor is the economically liberal Mr Singh a typical Congress-man. Much of the party is still nostalgic for the Nehruvian socialism that for so long impeded India’s growth.
This is not as damaging, but still, the talk about Neruvian socialism and how it was responsible for shackling India should be embarrassing to the Cong party.

Finally Nugget No. 5:
In power, the BJP also had a creditable record of economic management.
The article has not exactly been nice to the BJP but it definitely has given a thumbs up to the BJP's economic track record.

My suggestion to the Cong. spokespersons:
Just as I tell my students to read the entire passage before they start answering questions in CAT/CET, my advice to the Congress-wallahs is read the entire article before you start waving it in front of the public and media. Especially in this day and age when access to information is not restricted just to the power elite.

Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Kolkata Knight Riders - Seedhi Baat. All Bakwas.

It is hilarious watching the Sprite ad featuring Shah Rukh Khan and the KKR team. And viewing it during a KKR match just doubles the pleasure because of the sheer ineptness of the KKR team and the "aptness" of the commercial.

Take a look at the commercial...

In it the chubby character who is the butt of the joke decides that the best way for KKR to win is by getting well built hatta katta log into the team. His reasoning: We need to scare the opposition if we want to win.

Enter Cool Dude Shah Rukh (incidentally the Fake IPL Player calls him the "Badshah Dildo") who takes a look at the team lined up by Chubby and then with his patented patronising curled lip smirk asks him to take a look at the team that HE, the Badshah, has assembled. There we see Dada, Murali Karthik and Agarkar etc. And then the denouement. Badshah Dildo then tells Chubby that it has to be Seedhi Baat No Bakwas...

Now here is the catch. That team selected by the Badshah is the only team that does not have any chance of getting into the Semi-final. Wonder if they should have taken Chubby's advice and played the team that he selected. Would have won them a couple of matched at least.
The display in the field yesterday was pathetic to say the least. They managed a decent score. - their highest in this IPL season and I thought that they would at least put up a good fight. But naah. Such things just don't seem to happen to the Kolkata Knight Riders. This time it was the fielding that was woeful. Gautam Gambhir, out of form for most part of this season, was thankfully escorted back into it by the very generous KKR fielders. And after the explosive Warner was dismissed the duo of Gambhir and Dilshan strolled home comfortably, with an over to spare. And most importantly they also spared SRK another pointless trip to South Africa. I am sure SRK is going to text them a Thank you message.

Tuesday, May 05, 2009

The IPL comedy show

I have not commented at all about the Indian Premier League, not because I have not seen any matches but because I have completely lost interest in the whole circus. It is not the change in venue that has impacted me, I would not have gone to any of the stadia in any case. It is just the ... I don't know how to put it... er... the artificiality of it all.
I dunno if it makes sense to you folks but somehow the entire atmosphere, at least in the initial stages, seemed extremely contrived. The commentators yelling about DLF sixes and Citi moments of success and Nano fours and Kamasutra twos and so on was off-putting to say the least. I thought such commercialisation kind of took something away from the game itself. I understand sponsors are important and they have every right to be treated well and should be able to get the maximum bang for their buck but I had a feeling that the DLFs and the Citis probably ought to see if they were not overdoing the sponsorship bit.
But that was not the only thing phony I thought. For some reason I felt that the crowd reaction to the camera focusing on them was also a shade phony. I know I know I am getting a bit too critical and all that but surely you guys have felt it too? No? Well, what can I say? The way I saw it was: No crowd in vast sections of the stadium, densely populated in a small section and that section reluctantly (at least to me) putting on a show for the camera. It was almost as if the producer went and gave each one of them a chocolate and said, "Guys, when the camera pans on you look enthu."
And these along with my general loss of interest in cricket combined to keep me away from IPL watching. Not any more.
What I witnessed yesterday in the Chennai Super Kings v/s Deccan Chargers was total paisa vasool. Not the entire match mind you. Just some portions of it. Boy oh boy was it hilarious or what.
This happened in the Deccan Chargers innings. First up Dwayne Smith smashed a ball which looped up with three fielders running towards it. Three, mind you. And who took the catch? Simple answer. None of them. Each one expecting the other to take it. Simple calling was not adhered to and the ball fell right between them. Never mind. Hota hai. Funny but not uproariously so. Then what does Smith bhai do? Oh! He hits an almost same shot which goes to the almost same spot and now it has not three but only two players converging on it. I presume the third player was hiding somewhere from acute embarrassment. And after converging on it the Chennai Super Clowns dropped it. Yeah sure, one way to look at it is that the effort was one better than the previous delivery. Boss, Tyagi got a hand to it did he not? Funny but not the funniest of the lot. That was reserved for when the Super Clowns attempted to run out Smith.
Smith smashed the ball to the off and the return was not collected cleanly by the bowler (Jatayu, Jataka, Jakati or something). Theekh hai happens all the time in cricket but hey what is that? Badrinath was backing up and threw the ball back to Jatayu who did not bother to collect the ball but broke the stumps with his elbow. Reprieve no. 2 for Smith and for Suman at the other end. But the S & S jodi along with Jatayu managed another moment of DLF madness (rather the DLF moment of madness). Badri ran to the wicket so that he could uproot the stumps but Jatayu was a looong way off, almost 10 feet away, and could only send the ball wide of Badri, who then promptly burst into an infuriated jig.
Trust me this kind of madness did not even occur when as a kid I used to play cork ball cricket at the Gagan Mahal grounds in Hyderabad. Not that our matches were short of craziness of any kind.
So now I am a born again fan of IPL and cricket and will surely tune in diligently for my daily dose of action and comedy. Not to mention superb dialogue delivery from the commentary box. Way to go Lalit Modi ji.
Er... By the way did I mention the Chennai Super Clowns.... oops The Chennai Super Kings won?

Friday, May 01, 2009

Sukhoi-30 crashes




In all the hullabaloo of the third phase of the election people seem to have missed out on a "minor" but important accident. An IAF Sukhoi-30 MKI fighter jet crashed at Rajmathai village, 170km from Jaisalmer town of Rajasthan on Thursday, killing one of its pilots.

We have gotten used to reading reports of the MIG-21 crashing almost regularly but this is the first time that a Sukhoi-30 MKI, which was inducted into IAF in 2002, has crashed.

A technical snag was what was behind the crash. While I have no much idea of fighter aircraft and their technical issues, I am just worried that the Su-30 does not become another series of "Flying Coffins" that the IAF flies.


Angry Mumbaikars vote - All 42% of them!!!

“Angry Mumbai wants answers” “Mumbai simmers with anger post terror attacks” and other angry headlines dominated newspapers and websites and Blogs immediately after 26/11.

Once the shock wore off started another set of headlines. This time they read “Thousands participate in candlelight vigils” and other variants of the same. (Incidentally I mentioned in class that all the candle light vigils seemed to be at the Taj and at the Gateway and none at the CST station. I suggested that participants in these activities seemed to be a very South Mumbai specific crowd that was shocked that their Taj was attacked as opposed to ordinary people who travel by train and BEST buses. Most students, surprisingly, agreed with my thinking.)

Then started the next phase where Facebook groups were started. Campaigns were initiated on how we need a CEO for Mumbai and about how it was high time politicians were held accountable for their actions.

I sat back bemused and wondered through all this if the average middle class/upper middle class Mumbaikar had suddenly become such a politically aware citizen. The other thought that I had was that this was, as usual, a result of a total disconnect between the English language media plus the Blogosphere – the two sources that I get my information from – and the Mumbaikar. My initial reaction was – balls, no middle/upper-middle/rich Mumbaikar can possibly be interested in politics. And that it is all a hype created by the media. I felt that all this would last till maybe December 26th 2008 and no further.
That is when I had a change of heart. I thought that I was increasingly becoming cynical in my dotage and that I should be willing to give the Cuffe Parade wallahs and the Bandra-ites their due. Maybe they had awakened to the fact that vigilance is indeed the eternal price of democracy.

Then came today (yesterday now). The first election post 26/11 and what do I see? A voter turnout of 42% - 45%. Well well well so much for citizen activism. So much for young voters who wanted to change the system. Where were they? Earning a well deserved break because we have 4 holidays in a row? Seriously where the hell is the middle class Mumbaikar? Or has the passage of five months completely driven the issue out of her mind?

For once I am terribly sad that I was right. I was right when I said that the Mumbaikar is not going to care beyond a month or two. I was right when I felt that creating Facebook groups will not translate into active participation in issues concerning the city/state/country. I was also right, unfortunately, that participation in candle light vigils will not translate into people walking out of their houses on a “holiday” and voting.

Damn when will the middle class Mumbaikar prove me wrong?

Ps: The Facebook group “In Remembrance of the 11/26 Mumbai Bombings & All Those Affected Discussions” has 9057 members and 13 discussion topics. The last Discussion Topic on 26/11 was on December 7th 2008. The latest one is on Greenpeace (April 28th 2009). So much for political and social activism.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Sher-e-Punjab!!!!

See it is like this, I have immense respect for the current Prime Minister Dr.Manmohan Singh and his abilities as an economist. And I also like the fact that he is this quiet individual who goes about his job without too much hullabaloo. A quintessential professional. In a political environment populated by loud mouths, extremely corrupt netas, murderers, smug buggers et al he is a breath of fresh air (even if 76 years old.)

At the other end of the spectrum is Rahul Gandhi, the dimpled darling of the Congress party and Mama Sonia, not necessarily in that order. Now he is someone I donot respect all that much. Maybe given time he is going to turn out just fine but as of now, respect for Rahul-ji? Nada. Nyet. NO.

So when Rahul-ji says that Dr. Manmohan Singh is the Sher-e-Punjab then I can only look on in an amused manner. The fact is that Dr. Manmohan Singh is not anywhere close to being a SHER... In fact if there is any label that could be applied to Dr. Singh then it should probably be "The Soporific Singh". The reason - His public speaking skills are really atrocious and I seriously believe that he is probably the worst speaker the Prime Minister's office has seen in India. Ever. And given that this includes worthies such as H.D. Deve Gowda that is saying something.

What amazes me is that an academic and that too one in the premier Schools of the country -Dr. Singh has taught at the Delhi School of Economics apart from JNU and Punjab University - could be this bad in speaking skills. I can well imagine the situation of students who attended his classes, especially post lunch... Zzzzzzzzz

And such a man Sher-e-Punjab... er Rahul-ji I think not. The Soporific Singh is a much better adjective.

Monday, March 16, 2009

IPL out of India – Good Riddance?

It is finally out in the open – the IPL circus is going to move out of the country. Lalit Modi has indicated that Boards of ALL countries have invited IPL to their shores. The South African Board has indicated its willingness and its ability to host the matches. So has the English cricket Board. These two are the front runners for the host status. The venue will be finalised tomorrow.

My primary reaction to this all is Good Riddance. I mean, who cares? Sure, I love cricket and have always loved it but was the IPL more important than the elections that are to be held in the same time frame? What about the security requirements for the entire tamasha? Does the BCCI have any inkling of the concerns of the security forces? And quite frankly when I go out to vote I want to know that the security is adequate and not learn that it is not at the optimum level because the BCCI wanted to hold the IPL at the same time.

I was quite shocked at the extent of security arrangement that was in place for the Chennai test against England. At that time it was understandable and probably required given the environment. But to have that kind of security for ALL the IPL matches at the exact same time as the elections was too much to ask for. In that context I am quite happy that it is out of India. If the SA and/or English Boards can make some moolah out of this junket then good for them.

My secondary response was: Is it The BCCI’s way of telling the Indian Govt. that it does not need it and that they, the BCCI, can obviously go where want to and also do what they want to? After all the BCCI is the un-crowned king of world cricket. It has taken on other Boards and has cowed down almost all of them. Now is it taking on governments? Or am I letting my imagination run riot? Probably. Probably not. I wonder what the next step would be.

I mean next year. If this forced experiment is a success then what is stopping the IPL from being staged overseas next year too? After all IPL is not exactly about any touchy feely things like sentiment, patriotism etc but about hardcore lucre. So does that mean that the IPL would be permanently staged outside India? Maybe. Would that be a problem? Again I don’t think so. After all how many of us watched it at a stadium? Not too many, right? So what is the problem if it held in Timbuktu? Just watch the damn thing on TV like you did last time round. (That is, if the row between Sony and BCCI is settled before the tournament commences.) And count yourself lucky that you don’t have to go to the yucky stadia in India and can watch the matches in the comfort of your home.

Now what happens to the franchisees? The previous time none of the Franchisees made any money. So given the logistics that are required for IPL-2 would getting into the black be pushed further back? The IPL, according to Lalit Modi, would not be making any profits this year. Well, the BCCI was the only entity making money and now if it is not going to, I am fairly certain that the franchisees would not either.

Of course franchisees would be happy that is at least being held this year but I would really like to figure out how sound a business proposition the IPL is for the team owners. Or is it just a PR exercise for most of them?

Whether the IPL will continue to be staged overseas or not, whether franchisees make money or not, whether cricketers slap each other or not, whether there are any close finishes or not; I sure find the run up to the IPL as exciting as any 20/20 cricket match. And with Messrs Modi and Pawar at the helm of affairs I am fairly certain that there is more excitement coming our way before IPL-2 ends.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Mock Interviews

I know that elsewhere on this blog I have been rather critical of students who appear for interviews to get into an MBA programme, but must admit I did find a couple of interesting candidates the last time I interviewed a bunch of students.
I have been conducting a series of mock-interviews for those students who have got the "CAT calls" and obviously a large percentage is engineers. And the profile is almost always the same.... Engineer/IT sector/2-3 years work experience/completely disenchanted with IT etc. But at times there are these students who stand out among the group. (Before people start off about my prejudice against engineers, let me clarify that I do not have any and the description above is just that - a description)
A couple of days back I interviewed this dude (a fresher) who is an amateur graphologist and who had read and digested the Mahabharata/Prince/Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance/Brothers karamazov etc. and wanted to be asked questions on those books. The reason? He wanted to speak about his passion for reading and wanted to check if his knowledge of trivia about these books was as good as his thought it was.
I of course obliged. Asked him questions on the Mahabharata ranging from first warrior to be killed at Kurukshetra to the astra used to slay Karna to the names of Draupadi's children etc. He answered all of them and then as he was stepping out saw me writing my comments on the interview pad. He then leaned forward and started to read what I was writing. I was a bit taken aback with this but he then revealed that he was an amateur graphologist and that he wanted to "read" my handwriting. He started to analyse my handwriting without as much as a by your leave and then proceeded to write down all my "qualities". Got about 60% right must say.
This interview was only an aperitif. Then there was this girl (another fresher) who had interests in palmistry, [had my palm read ;-)] wanted to become a crystal-ball gazer, was about to learn tarot card reading and planned to start a chocolate business after her MBA. She had already conducted "field trials" in her chocolate business by making and distributing chocolates in class and had got positive "reviews" and was confident of being able to cater to discerning consumers.
Was a refreshing change from all those who aspire to rise in the corporate hierarchy and become "Manger in a Big Company". I am not saying that these two will make to the IIMs/TISS or whichever other institute that they had calls from. I am not even saying that this is the template that should be followed by others. All I am saying is that in a universe of much of a muchness it probably helps if you genuinely have interests that are slightly hatke and if you have adequate knowledge about the same. It probably helps if you can attract the attention of the rather jaded interviewers and then impress them with your undoubted knowledge in that field. Without arrogance or a know-it-all attitude.
May more such hatke thinkers/doers bloom in the B-School environment.

Friday, January 30, 2009

Dutts da story

I need to rush to take my class in Thane but a quick glance at the Blogosphere tells me that something important is up. And has been so for a couple of days.

We have had the issue of Mean Stream.... oops I meant Main Stream media attack Bloggers for lack of credibility etc. NOW it has been taken to new heights.

NDTV and Barkha Dutt seem to have used legal measures to silence a Blogger. Should we all get agitated? Or should we wait to see what exactly happened here. I mean was there threat/coercion etc and then react? It is obviously right to wait and find out what really happened but the problem in all that is that the Blogger will have to explain all that has happened but might not be in a position to. For obvious reasons ... might get into further trouble.
So I have a simple request for Barkha Dutt, you already have a powerful platform which you use in a wonderfully balanced and mature fashion. Why don't you this platform to educate all of us ignorant twits why you are so correct and why Chyetanya Kunte was so absolutely wrong. It would be a better way for us to be informed.

But more than anything else I believe that Bloggers should be united and maybe form a support system. After all the question is who will guard the guardians?

Saturday, January 03, 2009

Email Blackout

As the New Year dawned, in a flurry of excitement for some and in somnolence for others like me, I noticed that my email wasn't showing its customary activity. Ignored it for a while but now realise that the email is down. Seriously bad time for it to do that and I wonder if it is an indication of things to come!!!

I seem to be able to live without TV, newspapers, sometimes food when my Dabbawalla conveniently forgets to send me my dinner/lunch and human company but lack of either Net connectivity and/or lack of facility to check out my email really gets to me. I wonder if this could be the Net addiction that people talk about.

Be that as it may it is getting seriously painful... sitting in front of the laptop and not receiving any mail. And I know that there are plenty that will be sent by my friends across the world. I can sense one that tells me to immediately increase the size of some part of my body. My friends being concerned about my "woman" not being satisfied... Er how did they know??? Or one that tells me to decrease the size of some other part.... Or, of course my friends from Nigeria who are all in so much trouble. All at once. So much so that they need my help in moving funds!!! Me, who even a blind man in a bank branch does not ask for help with any cash withdrawals. Sometimes I worry about my friends. They seem to care a lot about me and trust me a lot. But well friends will be friends. But then all is not dark. I have my friends who believe that I am in the market for $20,000 wrist watches which they are willing to sell to me at $230. I mean if an individuals wealth is measured by his friends then I have the bestest lot.

And this silly email snafu is causing me to miss out on all the interaction with my friends. Damn. Life is tough. Hopefully the mail will be up and running and I can start interacting with my dost log once again.

Friday, January 02, 2009

Hey we have a New Home!!!

Hey 2009 might just be the year when I shed my customary laziness. I had decided to run The India Story from my own URL - http://www.indyeahstory.com/ - a few minutes back and usually when I decide to do something it means ............... Nothing... but wonder of wonders I have actually gone and done it.

Scary ...... Seriously scary... Now I better be careful of what I decide to do. ;-)

About the name, it is a play on the name India... with the YEAH showing attitude, and the good old "story" following. Also, I am now running a website http://www.indyeahinc.com/ This is a community driven media site for the management crowd... so maybe this is a beginning of the Indyeah... series of websites. ;-) Well! who knows, who knows???

Looks like 2009 will be a busy blogging year

New Year Resolutions ......

Hi All,

2009 has had a fantastic start so far. I thought I would put together a set of resolutions and stick to them. So far I have not put together the resolutions so there is no way I could have broken them. ;-)

I wonder if one of the Resolutions should be - Don't be LAZY - but then I am digressing. The point is apparently New Year Resolutions are not a good thing to do!!! So .... should I or should I not?

Be the case as it may, the one resolution that I intend to keep is blogging more often. This posting once in 6 months thingy is getting seriously embarassing. So, whether the world likes it or not, can stand it or not here's to a more prolific Blogging year.

Ciao
Gautam

Thursday, October 30, 2008

He Just Did It

I just did it. And with that cryptic comment Viswanathan Anand announced to his wife that he had won the World Championship. Anand won the World championship a few hours back with a comprehensive victory over Vladimir Kramnik. Beating Kramnik three times in a series is quite remarkable because as Anand himself pointed out Kramnik hardly loses three times in a year. Such was the superiority of Anand on the board.

And this was a superiority gained by hard labour. In fact so intense has been his preparation for the title defence that he stayed ignorant of all the goings on in the world around him. Not for him the financial turmoil engulfing the world or the US Presidential elections, it was just the World Championship and nothing else.

With this victory Anand has won the World Championship in three different formats – the 128 player knockout format in 2000, the eight-player double round-robin field last year and now Match-Play format. This triumph also means that he is only the second player in history, after Bobby Fischer, to have scored over the Soviets/Russians in the Match-Play format.

Now what I want to see is what his reception is going to be when he gets back home. When our cricket brats won the T20 World Cup there was an open bus parade for them all the way from the Mumbai airport to the Wankhede stadium. Will Anand get that kind of reception or will he just be met by a few officials at the Chennai airport?

I wonder what the reason is for the lack of popularity of Anand among the masses. Is it that Chess is a more cerebral game than cricket and therefore not something that would excite the masses? Or is it personality based? I mean Anand after all is the nicest, quietest most self-deprecating guy around. Could that be the reason? Would he have been more top of the mind if he had an affair or two with starlets or had drunken orgies in Chennai/Mumbai/Delhi etc.?

But hey I am digressing. These musings are probably for another day, another time. Right now it is time to celebrate a true World Champion in our midst. You “Just did it” dude.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Welcome to the real world kids

I thought I would share with all of you a letter that I wrote to my favourite nephew, Mr. Sacked Jet Employee Who Has Now Been Rehired a.k.a. Sajet, and his friends.

Dear Sajet,

I know that this is as good a time to write to you as any and I thought why delay doing something that has to be done. After all, all of you have been re-hired after an emotion packed tear jerker played out on national TV.

However guys, while others have looked at this issue with a fair degree of concern I have only felt a degree of faint amusement. Amusement not at your plight for 48 hours but at the fact that you guys felt the good times would always roll.

Hey welcome to the real world kiddos. That is not how the world operates and contrary to what you think, it does not even owe you a livelihood. Forget a posh one.

In the recent past it was almost de rigueur for all you fresh graduates, MBAs, engineers to jump from one ship to another. Almost as if the companies were going out of fashion. You belong to a generation that has not seen any pain on the professional front. All you knew was that you were earning salaries at the start of your careers, that your parents might have been earning after 25/30 yrs of service. And you saw no point in exercising restraint. Either in conspicuous consumption or in splurging on credit. Or in any activity in the social sphere. It was almost as if it was your birth right. You have bought yourselves bikes, cars, holidays and houses in up-market areas. Good for you. But did you for a moment think about the commitment that you were making to the financial institutions you were borrowing from? For time frames ranging from 2 years to 25 years? Or did you think that these commitments were also like the relationships you guys are allegedly getting into – a month or so and then move in with someone else?

It was a nightmare for the HR departments to keep the attrition levels down. Why? Simply because if you were in any way irked by the service conditions in the organisation or if someone down the road gave you a 10% hike you would take that and to hell with the process and the team and the organisation that you were leaving behind. The gods were there for all you kids who felt that the world was created according to your dictates. All this is very well till it lasts but then the gods spat on you or at least are beginning to.

And what have you, the first lot done? Gone whining to the local political leadership and the media. Why is that? Did you go to the local leadership or did the Company go to such leaders when you kept jumping from one job to the other? You did that because you considered it your privilege. Boss now the shoe is on the other foot.

Now I don’t think you can jump so blithely from one job to the other. Primarily because I don’t think there is another job waiting for you. Not in the BPO sector, not for the engineering grads, not for the IIMs guys who until recently were under the impression that it was only losers who did their summers here in India. (ok this one might be a bit of an exaggeration from my side) Now you are screwed because you believed the myth that everyone of the idiot commentators on TV were feeding you. That is, this level of prosperity will continue for ever and ever, amen.
Well I have news for you. It will not. Wake up and smell the coffee.
And when you do get the shove as some of you will definitely get as this recession gets uglier, take it on the chin like grown ups and get your act together. You might have got back your jobs for now, based on god knows what behind-the-scene wheeling and dealing. But take it from me, your well-wisher, that good times do not roll for ever. See, you guys enjoyed yourself when the going was good. Now it is not. Toughen up and don’t go crying to the media and/or politicians. If you did not want this uncertainty then you should not have taken up this profession. You should have gone into …. maybe govt. jobs. Or the academia or some such stable profession where you would have got safety of tenure. No, you did not do that because you wanted to have the fun ride provided by the private sector.

Nothing wrong in that. Only thing is that if you wanted the upside of higher salaries, better perks, hotter chicks/dudes etc. then you should be ready for the downside too. As they say if you can’t take the heat get out of the kitchen.

Have fun beta. And don’t forget to update your resume. Just in case.

Yours lovingly,
Concerned Uncle

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Yechury and the Tatas

I can understand the frustration of the Marxists with the loss of the Tata Nano project to Gujarat but surely even such acute disappointment does not warrant the asinine statement that Mr. Sitaram Yechury supposedly made on the telly yesterday.

For those who are not in the know Yechury said, “You cannot go into an area and say I will build my house only if everyone gives the assurance that it will not be burgled.”
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Seriously Yechury garu, is that what the Tatas were saying? Or were they saying that we will build a house only if we are sure that there is no goon in the area attempting to intimidate us, only if we are sure our family members won’t get beaten up, only if we are sure that our house won’t be gheraoed, only if we are sure that all movement will be allowed from the main road to our house and a general environment of ‘these guys are not welcome in the neighbourhood’ changed?

Very clearly the Tatas were not saying what Yechury is suggesting and therefore to blame the Tatas by twisting the reasons does not behove a senior and respected politician like him.

Like I have written before, the entire issue of land acquisition needs to be looked at in greater depth but I definitely feel that it is the responsibility of the government concerned to manage the politics of it. And here the Marxists failed miserably. It cannot be anyone’s case that the company that has acquired land should be left to fend for itself in the event of any political agitation. And a political agitation that was launched against an action the West Bengal government was involved in. If the agitation was against some actions by the Tatas or if there was an agitation because of misgivings regarding the cost to the environment then very clearly it is the company itself that has to sort out that mess. But land acquisition – now that is entirely the state government’s responsibility.

Therefore, Yechury garu, I suggest you speak to Comrades Bhattacharya and Sen and check with them as to why they were not able to contain the agitation and not attack the Tatas pointlessly.

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

From Singur to Sanand & from a Bad M to a Good M

The Nano has found a new home – Gujarat. According to an announcement made earlier today the Tatas will set up the plant in an 1100 acre plot at Sanand, close to Ahmedabad. The planned capacity of the plant is 5 lakh cars a year, up from the Singur plant's proposed capacity of 3 lakh cars. Finally Tata can get going on his pet project.

I believe that the entire Nano saga raises a couple of issues.

The first one is very clearly that of land acquisition for industrial production. I believe that the entire process of acquiring land should be dealt with in a much more transparent and humane manner. I do not want to go into the specifics of the agitation at Singur but on a broader scale, when people are being asked to give up their land for industrialisation, the social and cultural costs need to be evaluated along with the economic costs. I suspect we are not doing that at the moment.
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The second is whether Modi is now beginning to cast off the opprobrium of 2002. The Sangh Parivar and large sections of Gujarat always saw him as a dynamic and result oriented CM. But after this coup of his will the corporate sector and India at large also buy into the Modi story? Or as Tata put it, “the Good M” theory?

The issue with Modi was always his acceptability among people outside Gujarat. But with this very clear demonstration of seriousness of intent in working for the development of the state and the speed with which he made the government machinery move Modi, I suspect, will begin to acquire a halo even outside the state. The “From a Bad M to a Good M” comment of Ratan Tata could well be the tipping point as far as Modi’s career on the national stage is concerned. After all it does signal a high level of acceptability for the man from one of the most respected names in corporate India.

Sourav to retire after the Oz series

The curtain is beginning to fall on the Fab Four with Sourav Ganguly announcing his retirement from international cricket at the end of the Australian tour. Of course the immediate question on peoples mind would be whether there was any “compromise formula” that was arrived at with the new Selection Panel for a dignified send off. Whatever be it I think he has chosen to go at the appropriate time.

When I look back at Sourav’s career it is not his silken grace on the off-side that immediately comes to mind, not the ease with which he took on spinners, not the imperiousness in captaincy or the lethargic running between the wickets and not even the impromptu jig on the balcony of Lord’s. It very clearly is the 2001 Test Series against the Australians.
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The 2001 Test series was definitely the crowning glory of his career primarily because of the way in which it was won. I particularly liked the way in which he got under the skin of Steve “oh I am ice cool” Waugh.

Was it proper to keep Waugh waiting for the toss? Was it proper to not give him the list of the final eleven on time? Not really. But was it (is it) proper for the Aussies to sledge in the middle? According to them it was mental disintegration. So was this. Just that it was a different kind of mental disintegration. It was a gutsy, in your face, devil may care attitude that India had not seen from her cricketers in a long time or maybe never at all. No wonder people were surprised to see that. And it worked. (Of course assisted by Messrs VVS, The Wall and Bhajji.)

The satisfying part was that Steve Waugh was made to eat humble pie. I remember all that talk of the “Final Frontier” was really beginning to grate. It was almost as if, on the back of their 15 test winning streak, they just had to turn up and they would achieve it. But boy were they in for a surprise. To me, more than the victory itself it was the humbling of the Aussie pride that was satisfying.

Just for achieving that one series victory, in my book, Ganguly deserves his place in the pantheon of Indian greats.

Monday, September 15, 2008

One Night Stand

One of the interesting aspects of any language especially English, is the way certain words and phrases evolve. More so with English than with other languages because of the sheer diversity of people who speak the language.

The other day I was in class taking an introductory session on Group Discussions for the CAT 2008 aspirants. As part of the lecture I checked with the students about their reading habits and whether they read anything other than the recommended text books. There were sheepish grins all round and then a few talked about their newspaper reading habits and some spoke of a novel or two that they had read and so on.

One of the students was very honest and very categorical. He confessed that he did absolutely no reading and when I asked him about his coursework he said, “Well, I do a one night stand before the exam and I find that it helps me crack the paper.” I was rather taken aback but quickly gathered my wits and checked with him as to how a one-night stand helped him crack the exam!!! I probably should not have … it being a class and all that but still…..

He further flummoxed me by saying that, “You know all of us in the hostel get together and we have a one night stand and all of us ace the exam.” This really set my mind racing… and I was about to go into it a bit more thoroughly when some other student came to my rescue and defined a One night stand in today’s engineering colleges. It simply means studying for the semester exams just the night before each paper.
Well well well. From meaning:
“a single performance in one locale, as by a touring theatrical company, before moving on to the next engagement.”
To
“a single, unrepeated sexual encounter, as one lasting for just one night.”
To
“studying for the exam just the night before”
Quite a journey that. All in 200 years. Not bad at all.