IPL out of India – Good Riddance?

It is finally out in the open – the IPL circus is going to move out of the country. Lalit Modi has indicated that Boards of ALL countries have invited IPL to their shores. The South African Board has indicated its willingness and its ability to host the matches. So has the English cricket Board. These two are the front runners for the host status. The venue will be finalised tomorrow.

My primary reaction to this all is Good Riddance. I mean, who cares? Sure, I love cricket and have always loved it but was the IPL more important than the elections that are to be held in the same time frame? What about the security requirements for the entire tamasha? Does the BCCI have any inkling of the concerns of the security forces? And quite frankly when I go out to vote I want to know that the security is adequate and not learn that it is not at the optimum level because the BCCI wanted to hold the IPL at the same time.

I was quite shocked at the extent of security arrangement that was in place for the Chennai test against England. At that time it was understandable and probably required given the environment. But to have that kind of security for ALL the IPL matches at the exact same time as the elections was too much to ask for. In that context I am quite happy that it is out of India. If the SA and/or English Boards can make some moolah out of this junket then good for them.

My secondary response was: Is it The BCCI’s way of telling the Indian Govt. that it does not need it and that they, the BCCI, can obviously go where want to and also do what they want to? After all the BCCI is the un-crowned king of world cricket. It has taken on other Boards and has cowed down almost all of them. Now is it taking on governments? Or am I letting my imagination run riot? Probably. Probably not. I wonder what the next step would be.

I mean next year. If this forced experiment is a success then what is stopping the IPL from being staged overseas next year too? After all IPL is not exactly about any touchy feely things like sentiment, patriotism etc but about hardcore lucre. So does that mean that the IPL would be permanently staged outside India? Maybe. Would that be a problem? Again I don’t think so. After all how many of us watched it at a stadium? Not too many, right? So what is the problem if it held in Timbuktu? Just watch the damn thing on TV like you did last time round. (That is, if the row between Sony and BCCI is settled before the tournament commences.) And count yourself lucky that you don’t have to go to the yucky stadia in India and can watch the matches in the comfort of your home.

Now what happens to the franchisees? The previous time none of the Franchisees made any money. So given the logistics that are required for IPL-2 would getting into the black be pushed further back? The IPL, according to Lalit Modi, would not be making any profits this year. Well, the BCCI was the only entity making money and now if it is not going to, I am fairly certain that the franchisees would not either.

Of course franchisees would be happy that is at least being held this year but I would really like to figure out how sound a business proposition the IPL is for the team owners. Or is it just a PR exercise for most of them?

Whether the IPL will continue to be staged overseas or not, whether franchisees make money or not, whether cricketers slap each other or not, whether there are any close finishes or not; I sure find the run up to the IPL as exciting as any 20/20 cricket match. And with Messrs Modi and Pawar at the helm of affairs I am fairly certain that there is more excitement coming our way before IPL-2 ends.

Mock Interviews

I know that elsewhere on this blog I have been rather critical of students who appear for interviews to get into an MBA programme, but must admit I did find a couple of interesting candidates the last time I interviewed a bunch of students.

I have been conducting a series of mock-interviews for those students who have got the "CAT calls" and obviously a large percentage is engineers. And the profile is almost always the same.... Engineer/IT sector/2-3 years work experience/completely disenchanted with IT etc. But at times there are these students who stand out among the group. (Before people start off about my prejudice against engineers, let me clarify that I do not have any and the description above is just that - a description)

A couple of days back I interviewed this dude (a fresher) who is an amateur graphologist and who had read and digested the Mahabharata/Prince/Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance/Brothers karamazov etc. and wanted to be asked questions on those books. The reason? He wanted to speak about his passion for reading and wanted to check if his knowledge of trivia about these books was as good as his thought it was.

I of course obliged. Asked him questions on the Mahabharata ranging from first warrior to be killed at Kurukshetra to the astra used to slay Karna to the names of Draupadi's children etc. He answered all of them and then as he was stepping out saw me writing my comments on the interview pad. He then leaned forward and started to read what I was writing. I was a bit taken aback with this but he then revealed that he was an amateur graphologist and that he wanted to "read" my handwriting. He started to analyse my handwriting without as much as a by your leave and then proceeded to write down all my "qualities". Got about 60% right must say.

This interview was only an aperitif. Then there was this girl (another fresher) who had interests in palmistry, [had my palm read ;-)] wanted to become a crystal-ball gazer, was about to learn tarot card reading and planned to start a chocolate business after her MBA. She had already conducted "field trials" in her chocolate business by making and distributing chocolates in class and had got positive "reviews" and was confident of being able to cater to discerning consumers.

Was a refreshing change from all those who aspire to rise in the corporate hierarchy and become "Manger in a Big Company". I am not saying that these two will make to the IIMs/TISS or whichever other institute that they had calls from. I am not even saying that this is the template that should be followed by others. All I am saying is that in a universe of much of a muchness it probably helps if you genuinely have interests that are slightly hatke and if you have adequate knowledge about the same. It probably helps if you can attract the attention of the rather jaded interviewers and then impress them with your undoubted knowledge in that field. Without arrogance or a know-it-all attitude.

May more such hatke thinkers/doers bloom in the B-School environment.

Dutts da story

I need to rush to take my class in Thane but a quick glance at the Blogosphere tells me that something important is up. And has been so for a couple of days.

We have had the issue of Mean Stream.... oops I meant Main Stream media attack Bloggers for lack of credibility etc. NOW it has been taken to new heights.

NDTV and Barkha Dutt seem to have used legal measures to silence a Blogger. Should we all get agitated? Or should we wait to see what exactly happened here. I mean was there threat/coercion etc and then react? It is obviously right to wait and find out what really happened but the problem in all that is that the Blogger will have to explain all that has happened but might not be in a position to. For obvious reasons ... might get into further trouble.
So I have a simple request for Barkha Dutt, you already have a powerful platform which you use in a wonderfully balanced and mature fashion. Why don't you this platform to educate all of us ignorant twits why you are so correct and why Chyetanya Kunte was so absolutely wrong. It would be a better way for us to be informed.

But more than anything else I believe that Bloggers should be united and maybe form a support system. After all the question is who will guard the guardians?

Email Blackout

As the New Year dawned, in a flurry of excitement for some and in somnolence for others like me, I noticed that my email wasn't showing its customary activity. Ignored it for a while but now realise that the email is down. Seriously bad time for it to do that and I wonder if it is an indication of things to come!!!

I seem to be able to live without TV, newspapers, sometimes food when my Dabbawalla conveniently forgets to send me my dinner/lunch and human company but lack of either Net connectivity and/or lack of facility to check out my email really gets to me. I wonder if this could be the Net addiction that people talk about.

Be that as it may it is getting seriously painful... sitting in front of the laptop and not receiving any mail. And I know that there are plenty that will be sent by my friends across the world. I can sense one that tells me to immediately increase the size of some part of my body. My friends being concerned about my "woman" not being satisfied... Er how did they know??? Or one that tells me to decrease the size of some other part.... Or, of course my friends from Nigeria who are all in so much trouble. All at once. So much so that they need my help in moving funds!!! Me, who even a blind man in a bank branch does not ask for help with any cash withdrawals. Sometimes I worry about my friends. They seem to care a lot about me and trust me a lot. But well friends will be friends. But then all is not dark. I have my friends who believe that I am in the market for $20,000 wrist watches which they are willing to sell to me at $230. I mean if an individuals wealth is measured by his friends then I have the bestest lot.

And this silly email snafu is causing me to miss out on all the interaction with my friends. Damn. Life is tough. Hopefully the mail will be up and running and I can start interacting with my dost log once again.

Hey we have a New Home!!!

Hey 2009 might just be the year when I shed my customary laziness. I had decided to run The India Story from my own URL - http://www.indyeahstory.com/ - a few minutes back and usually when I decide to do something it means ............... Nothing... but wonder of wonders I have actually gone and done it.

Scary ...... Seriously scary... Now I better be careful of what I decide to do. ;-)

About the name, it is a play on the name India... with the YEAH showing attitude, and the good old "story" following. Also, I am now running a website http://www.indyeahinc.com/ This is a community driven media site for the management crowd... so maybe this is a beginning of the Indyeah... series of websites. ;-) Well! who knows, who knows???

Looks like 2009 will be a busy blogging year

New Year Resolutions ......

Hi All,

2009 has had a fantastic start so far. I thought I would put together a set of resolutions and stick to them. So far I have not put together the resolutions so there is no way I could have broken them. ;-)

I wonder if one of the Resolutions should be - Don't be LAZY - but then I am digressing. The point is apparently New Year Resolutions are not a good thing to do!!! So .... should I or should I not?

Be the case as it may, the one resolution that I intend to keep is blogging more often. This posting once in 6 months thingy is getting seriously embarassing. So, whether the world likes it or not, can stand it or not here's to a more prolific Blogging year.

Ciao
Gautam

He Just Did It

I just did it. And with that cryptic comment Viswanathan Anand announced to his wife that he had won the World Championship. Anand won the World championship a few hours back with a comprehensive victory over Vladimir Kramnik. Beating Kramnik three times in a series is quite remarkable because as Anand himself pointed out Kramnik hardly loses three times in a year. Such was the superiority of Anand on the board.

And this was a superiority gained by hard labour. In fact so intense has been his preparation for the title defence that he stayed ignorant of all the goings on in the world around him. Not for him the financial turmoil engulfing the world or the US Presidential elections, it was just the World Championship and nothing else.

With this victory Anand has won the World Championship in three different formats – the 128 player knockout format in 2000, the eight-player double round-robin field last year and now Match-Play format. This triumph also means that he is only the second player in history, after Bobby Fischer, to have scored over the Soviets/Russians in the Match-Play format.

Now what I want to see is what his reception is going to be when he gets back home. When our cricket brats won the T20 World Cup there was an open bus parade for them all the way from the Mumbai airport to the Wankhede stadium. Will Anand get that kind of reception or will he just be met by a few officials at the Chennai airport?

I wonder what the reason is for the lack of popularity of Anand among the masses. Is it that Chess is a more cerebral game than cricket and therefore not something that would excite the masses? Or is it personality based? I mean Anand after all is the nicest, quietest most self-deprecating guy around. Could that be the reason? Would he have been more top of the mind if he had an affair or two with starlets or had drunken orgies in Chennai/Mumbai/Delhi etc.?

But hey I am digressing. These musings are probably for another day, another time. Right now it is time to celebrate a true World Champion in our midst. You “Just did it” dude.

Welcome to the real world kids

I thought I would share with all of you a letter that I wrote to my favourite nephew, Mr. Sacked Jet Employee Who Has Now Been Rehired a.k.a. Sajet, and his friends.

Dear Sajet,

I know that this is as good a time to write to you as any and I thought why delay doing something that has to be done. After all, all of you have been re-hired after an emotion packed tear jerker played out on national TV.

However guys, while others have looked at this issue with a fair degree of concern I have only felt a degree of faint amusement. Amusement not at your plight for 48 hours but at the fact that you guys felt the good times would always roll.

Hey welcome to the real world kiddos. That is not how the world operates and contrary to what you think, it does not even owe you a livelihood. Forget a posh one.

In the recent past it was almost de rigueur for all you fresh graduates, MBAs, engineers to jump from one ship to another. Almost as if the companies were going out of fashion. You belong to a generation that has not seen any pain on the professional front. All you knew was that you were earning salaries at the start of your careers, that your parents might have been earning after 25/30 yrs of service. And you saw no point in exercising restraint. Either in conspicuous consumption or in splurging on credit. Or in any activity in the social sphere. It was almost as if it was your birth right. You have bought yourselves bikes, cars, holidays and houses in up-market areas. Good for you. But did you for a moment think about the commitment that you were making to the financial institutions you were borrowing from? For time frames ranging from 2 years to 25 years? Or did you think that these commitments were also like the relationships you guys are allegedly getting into – a month or so and then move in with someone else?

It was a nightmare for the HR departments to keep the attrition levels down. Why? Simply because if you were in any way irked by the service conditions in the organisation or if someone down the road gave you a 10% hike you would take that and to hell with the process and the team and the organisation that you were leaving behind. The gods were there for all you kids who felt that the world was created according to your dictates. All this is very well till it lasts but then the gods spat on you or at least are beginning to.

And what have you, the first lot done? Gone whining to the local political leadership and the media. Why is that? Did you go to the local leadership or did the Company go to such leaders when you kept jumping from one job to the other? You did that because you considered it your privilege. Boss now the shoe is on the other foot.

Now I don’t think you can jump so blithely from one job to the other. Primarily because I don’t think there is another job waiting for you. Not in the BPO sector, not for the engineering grads, not for the IIMs guys who until recently were under the impression that it was only losers who did their summers here in India. (ok this one might be a bit of an exaggeration from my side) Now you are screwed because you believed the myth that everyone of the idiot commentators on TV were feeding you. That is, this level of prosperity will continue for ever and ever, amen.

Well I have news for you. It will not. Wake up and smell the coffee.

And when you do get the shove as some of you will definitely get as this recession gets uglier, take it on the chin like grown ups and get your act together. You might have got back your jobs for now, based on god knows what behind-the-scene wheeling and dealing. But take it from me, your well-wisher, that good times do not roll for ever. See, you guys enjoyed yourself when the going was good. Now it is not. Toughen up and don’t go crying to the media and/or politicians. If you did not want this uncertainty then you should not have taken up this profession. You should have gone into …. maybe govt. jobs. Or the academia or some such stable profession where you would have got safety of tenure. No, you did not do that because you wanted to have the fun ride provided by the private sector.

Nothing wrong in that. Only thing is that if you wanted the upside of higher salaries, better perks, hotter chicks/dudes etc. then you should be ready for the downside too. As they say if you can’t take the heat get out of the kitchen.

Have fun beta. And don’t forget to update your resume. Just in case.

Yours lovingly,
Concerned Uncle

Yechury and the Tatas

I can understand the frustration of the Marxists with the loss of the Tata Nano project to Gujarat but surely even such acute disappointment does not warrant the asinine statement that Mr. Sitaram Yechury supposedly made on the telly yesterday.

For those who are not in the know Yechury said, “You cannot go into an area and say I will build my house only if everyone gives the assurance that it will not be burgled.”

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Seriously Yechury garu, is that what the Tatas were saying? Or were they saying that we will build a house only if we are sure that there is no goon in the area attempting to intimidate us, only if we are sure our family members won’t get beaten up, only if we are sure that our house won’t be gheraoed, only if we are sure that all movement will be allowed from the main road to our house and a general environment of ‘these guys are not welcome in the neighbourhood’ changed?

Very clearly the Tatas were not saying what Yechury is suggesting and therefore to blame the Tatas by twisting the reasons does not behove a senior and respected politician like him.

Like I have written before, the entire issue of land acquisition needs to be looked at in greater depth but I definitely feel that it is the responsibility of the government concerned to manage the politics of it. And here the Marxists failed miserably. It cannot be anyone’s case that the company that has acquired land should be left to fend for itself in the event of any political agitation. And a political agitation that was launched against an action the West Bengal government was involved in. If the agitation was against some actions by the Tatas or if there was an agitation because of misgivings regarding the cost to the environment then very clearly it is the company itself that has to sort out that mess. But land acquisition – now that is entirely the state government’s responsibility.

Therefore, Yechury garu, I suggest you speak to Comrades Bhattacharya and Sen and check with them as to why they were not able to contain the agitation and not attack the Tatas pointlessly.

From Singur to Sanand & from a Bad M to a Good M

The Nano has found a new home – Gujarat. According to an announcement made earlier today the Tatas will set up the plant in an 1100 acre plot at Sanand, close to Ahmedabad. The planned capacity of the plant is 5 lakh cars a year, up from the Singur plant's proposed capacity of 3 lakh cars. Finally Tata can get going on his pet project.

I believe that the entire Nano saga raises a couple of issues.

The first one is very clearly that of land acquisition for industrial production. I believe that the entire process of acquiring land should be dealt with in a much more transparent and humane manner. I do not want to go into the specifics of the agitation at Singur but on a broader scale, when people are being asked to give up their land for industrialisation, the social and cultural costs need to be evaluated along with the economic costs. I suspect we are not doing that at the moment.
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The second is whether Modi is now beginning to cast off the opprobrium of 2002. The Sangh Parivar and large sections of Gujarat always saw him as a dynamic and result oriented CM. But after this coup of his will the corporate sector and India at large also buy into the Modi story? Or as Tata put it, “the Good M” theory?

The issue with Modi was always his acceptability among people outside Gujarat. But with this very clear demonstration of seriousness of intent in working for the development of the state and the speed with which he made the government machinery move Modi, I suspect, will begin to acquire a halo even outside the state. The “From a Bad M to a Good M” comment of Ratan Tata could well be the tipping point as far as Modi’s career on the national stage is concerned. After all it does signal a high level of acceptability for the man from one of the most respected names in corporate India.

Sourav to retire after the Oz series

The curtain is beginning to fall on the Fab Four with Sourav Ganguly announcing his retirement from international cricket at the end of the Australian tour. Of course the immediate question on peoples mind would be whether there was any “compromise formula” that was arrived at with the new Selection Panel for a dignified send off. Whatever be it I think he has chosen to go at the appropriate time.

When I look back at Sourav’s career it is not his silken grace on the off-side that immediately comes to mind, not the ease with which he took on spinners, not the imperiousness in captaincy or the lethargic running between the wickets and not even the impromptu jig on the balcony of Lord’s. It very clearly is the 2001 Test Series against the Australians.
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The 2001 Test series was definitely the crowning glory of his career primarily because of the way in which it was won. I particularly liked the way in which he got under the skin of Steve “oh I am ice cool” Waugh.

Was it proper to keep Waugh waiting for the toss? Was it proper to not give him the list of the final eleven on time? Not really. But was it (is it) proper for the Aussies to sledge in the middle? According to them it was mental disintegration. So was this. Just that it was a different kind of mental disintegration. It was a gutsy, in your face, devil may care attitude that India had not seen from her cricketers in a long time or maybe never at all. No wonder people were surprised to see that. And it worked. (Of course assisted by Messrs VVS, The Wall and Bhajji.)

The satisfying part was that Steve Waugh was made to eat humble pie. I remember all that talk of the “Final Frontier” was really beginning to grate. It was almost as if, on the back of their 15 test winning streak, they just had to turn up and they would achieve it. But boy were they in for a surprise. To me, more than the victory itself it was the humbling of the Aussie pride that was satisfying.

Just for achieving that one series victory, in my book, Ganguly deserves his place in the pantheon of Indian greats.

One Night Stand

One of the interesting aspects of any language especially English, is the way certain words and phrases evolve. More so with English than with other languages because of the sheer diversity of people who speak the language.

The other day I was in class taking an introductory session on Group Discussions for the CAT 2008 aspirants. As part of the lecture I checked with the students about their reading habits and whether they read anything other than the recommended text books. There were sheepish grins all round and then a few talked about their newspaper reading habits and some spoke of a novel or two that they had read and so on.

One of the students was very honest and very categorical. He confessed that he did absolutely no reading and when I asked him about his coursework he said, “Well, I do a one night stand before the exam and I find that it helps me crack the paper.” I was rather taken aback but quickly gathered my wits and checked with him as to how a one-night stand helped him crack the exam!!! I probably should not have … it being a class and all that but still…..

He further flummoxed me by saying that, “You know all of us in the hostel get together and we have a one night stand and all of us ace the exam.” This really set my mind racing… and I was about to go into it a bit more thoroughly when some other student came to my rescue and defined a One night stand in today’s engineering colleges. It simply means studying for the semester exams just the night before each paper.
Well well well. From meaning:

“a single performance in one locale, as by a touring theatrical company, before moving on to the next engagement.”

To

“a single, unrepeated sexual encounter, as one lasting for just one night.”

To

“studying for the exam just the night before”

Quite a journey that. All in 200 years. Not bad at all.

Akhil Kumar outboxed

Damn man! Akhil Kumar has lost in the quarter finals of the 54kg bantamweight class. He was beaten by Republic of Moldova's Veaceslav Gojan 10-3. I am no boxer but as early as the end of Round One I had the feeling that Akhil would lose.

The reason was quite obvious - the Moldovan was fighting a very tactical fight. Not allowing any of Akhil's punches to get through his defences and though our man tried valiantly to pierce it, it was to no avail. While the first two rounds were even-stevens the last two were almost boxing lessons for the young Indian boxer. It was not that he was punished by the referees, though the Indian coach did mention that a few of Akhil's punches were not registered. It was just that he lost to the boxer who was more prepared for the fight.

I do not know what kind of preparation is done in boxing but I wonder if the kind of analysis that is done in cricket these days is attempted. I mean in terms of studying the opponent and coming up with tactics to beat him. I say this because I feel that is what the Moldovan did. Figured out the way Akhil boxes and prepared a game plan accordingly.

Well anyway there still are another two boxers in contention. Hope we can get some medal from those two guys.

Oh! And talking of our heroes in Blue, they were yet again handed an abject lesson in cricket. The analysis etc that happens in cricket do not seem to have helped. They were pummeled by the Lankans. I have a feeling that this is going to be the trend in the entire series.

Chiranjeevi enters Politics - Finally

So Chiru has decided to enter politics…. Finally!!! I watched the entire press conference over and over again on TV. Not that I had much of a choice…. all Telugu channels were beaming nothing but Chiru annaiya and his press conference.
And he did not disappoint. He got all his lines down pat and also did not forget to turn on the charm.
I for one am certainly looking forward to his party shaking up the established political duopoly in AP. He has the fan following across the state to make a serious bid for power and I do think he is right when he says that there is a political vacuum and therefore space for another political party. Chiranjeevi also has the credentials in that he has established a Blood Bank and has involved himself with other social service activities. Shows he has his heart in the right place.
Having said that, I have a few observations about Chiru’s new party.
For starters I am less than impressed by the fact that in some regions of Andhra Pradesh, particularly Rayalaseema, there have been quite a few defections from the Telugu Desam into the yet to be named party. The general feeling is that people from the Congress will begin to migrate to his party once the elections are announced. Congressmen who perceive a brighter chance of getting elected if they join him will definitely do so. Nothing wrong in people migrating to other parties, the best of politicians have done it: Chandrababu Naidu, V.P. Singh etc etc. Chiru himself defended it stoutly by saying that there was nothing wrong in having people who believe in him and his ideology join him. True. No doubt about that one. But still for a party that has come about because they believe that there is a political vacuum and that they should bring about change I think this is a bit strange.
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I mean what change are they going to bring about if all the key party functionaries are people who have been in politics for a long time? And especially those who have been part and parcel of the rough and tumble of factional politics in Rayalaseema.
The other issue is that Chiru kept talking about Youth. Looking at the kind of celebrations that accompanied the announcements and also the general attitude of the ‘youth’ I have a feeling that it is nothing more than just hero-worshipping youngsters who are taken in by his glamour.
A few months back there was the ugly incident where another Telugu film star Dr. Rajasekhar when asked if he would join Chiranjeevi’s party replied in the negative and also questioned Chiru’s political experience. This was enough to set off the Chiru fan association. They physically attacked Rajashekar and his family and it took the intervention of Chiranjeevi to cool tempers. This just goes to show the kind of people who are supporting him. All very well if he is trying to get together a bunch of storm troopers but since that does not seem to be his objective he very clearly needs to control these elements in his party. The question is, can he?
The other thing is that it is not very clear who he means by Youth. The unemployed youth? The rural youth? College going youth? I am slightly confused about it all.
While there is no doubt that he can mobilize the crowds the question is can he keep them with him for another year till the elections? These are people who are very clearly high on adrenalin. Just the right sort to generate enthusiasm when a party is being launched but are they the sort who will stay the course when it comes to organisation building? Building and sustaining an organisation is completely different from riding on the streets on bikes, waving flags and bursting crackers. But then maybe I am wrong, only time will tell.
The other thing that he very clearly needs to spell out is his views on Telangana. There already are people who are quitting the TRS to join Chiru’s new party. And they are of the view that Chiru will support the breaking away of the Telangana region from AP. If Chiru decides otherwise then there will be a lot of malcontents in his party. He hails from coastal Andhra and has a very strong following in the Rayalseema region. I am not too sure if supporting Telangana will go down well in those parts, esp. in coastal Andhra. Not a great situation either way. He avoided responding to any question regarding this issue but unlikely that he can duck this one for much longer. If he does not make his stance clear on the 26th then there is bound to be disappointment.
When NTR launched the Telugu Desam and was cris-crossing Andhra Pradesh on his Chaitanya Ratham in 1983/84, he called the Naxals Freedom Fighters when he crossed into Khammam district - then the hotbed of Naxal violence. Now this is not something Chiru can afford to say or do. How he deals with the Naxal issue is another thing that will be interesting to say the least.
I am also slightly uncomfortable about people who talk about Mother Teresa as their role model. I know I know. It is irrational, disrespectful and totally unfair but there it is. I guess everyone is allowed their idiosyncrasies and this is mine. I mean the moment anyone talks about Mother Teresa being their role model I am reminded of all the Beauty Queens who used to dutifully trot out her name during various pageants. But then let me give Chiru the benefit of doubt. Maybe he really is inspired by Mother Teresa! After all he has proved that with his various associations with Charitable organisations.
Anyway I am glad that Chiru has taken the first step. I now look forward to the 26th to see what he has to say in terms of the agenda for his party and what his plans for the future are. Until then I will keep my euphoria on hold.

All the VERY BEST Chiru.

View my site: http://www.cafezika.com/

Hyderabad Blasts

I have just got back home from my office at Bowenpally in Secunderabad and have realized that there has been an explosion at Lumbini Park in Hyderabad.

Thanks to a lengthy chat that I had with my colleague Arkss I was delayed at work and therefore hitched a ride with RP up to Himayatnagar. I then happened to take the route via Koti where 15-20 minutes earlier there was another blast. This time at the well-known Gokul Chat.

While there I happened to interact with someone who was at the site when the blast took place and he mentioned that there could have been at least 20-25 people who took a direct hit and lost their lives. He talked about how people (shopkeepers, shoppers etc.) swung into action and put the injured into autorickshaws and sent them to the Gandhi and Osmania hospitals.

By the time I was walking past the site the Fire Tenders had arrived and the police had cordoned off the area. Yet I noticed that Ambulances were finding it difficult to get through because of the dense traffic and also because the bloody ordinary Hyderabadi refuses to give way even to an Ambulance. I noticed a couple of the Ambulances getting caught even as I was traveling towards Koti but obviously, at that point, did not know the gravity of the issue.
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While I was at the accident site (at the time of writing it is still not clear if the blast at Gokul Chat was caused by a cylinder explosion or by a bomb blast) I noticed that the police had more or less gained control over the situation.

But what really saddened me was the behaviour of some of the people at the site. While at the time that I passed by Gokul Chat there was not much the general citizen could have done to help the injured, surely there was no need to block the other side of the road and gawk as if there was a film-shooting going on.

This crowd was also impeding the free flow of traffic that caused a traffic pile up at the Koti Women’s College end leading to a further delay in Ambulances traveling from the Chaderghat side getting to the spot.

That we don’t do much to help our fellow citizen is bad enough (I am obviously including myself here) but if we are the reason why a badly injured person can’t be taken to hospital in double quick time then there is a problem somewhere in the way we as a community/nation behave.

I know that this post is fairly disjointed but then again I have probably not been as disturbed as I am now.

My heart goes out to the families of the victims many of whom cannot possibly be identified right away and hope they somehow find the strength to deal with this tragedy. And I really really hope that the number of fatalities does not rise over night.

But seriously this has put in perspective a lot of things for me. If I had walked past that place 20 minutes earlier then I too would have been lying in a pool of blood. And there I was an hour earlier, in office, talking about my future.

As if I control anything.

Netas & their Court Cases

It’s been a long long time since I have posted anything. In fact I should probably consider myself a newbie at blogging given the time that has elapsed since the last post. Be that as it may I thought I should get down to some serious writing, at least on the weekends. So here is the second coming.

I was at some point in time, quite long ago really, a fan of Swaminathan S. Anklesaria Aiyar and his column “Swaminomics” in the Times of India. Over the years kind of felt he was losing his grip. But a couple of weeks back he came out with a gem that puts him right on top of my favourites list once again.

In the article “Ten commandments for Dr. Singh”, Swaminathan has come out with, “Thou shalt propose a law giving seniority to all cases of elected legislators over all others.”

I think it is a brilliant suggestion. More so because of its utter simplicity. I wonder why our founding fathers did not think of this simple bit of legislation. Maybe they never imagined that a day would come when the state legislatures and also the Parliament would play host to people we would rather have behind bars.

However the situation now is that there are hordes of criminals getting into politics. We even have a situation where there are people who contest elections from behind bars.

And get elected.

Obviously these gentlemen aspire to be public representatives not out of any altruistic nature or a burning desire to serve society but because it gives them the clout to stall/halt judicial proceedings against themselves.

Now if getting elected to any official position becomes a catalyst for all the pending cases against them to be brought to the front burner, then only the most brain dead of criminals would like to be involved in the political process.

I would go further to suggest that all state legislatures and the Parliament should have a fast track court established on their premises to try the worthies who have broken the law. Why should courts be located inside State Assemblies? Can’t justice be served from the current premises of the High Courts? Of course it can. Just can’t resist the idea that as Legislators enter the Assembly they can also see the Annexe of the High Court and know for certain that they can’t escape a visit to its premises if they run foul of the law.

And for career politicians who have a lot of frivolous cases registered against them, there is nothing to despair. Because all the law would say is that, “all your cases will be fast tracked and tackled by a special court”. So in case of complaints that are completely frivolous or are obviously the result of leading an agitation against some policy of the government they could also get some judicial respite. Immediately. And such a rule should be welcomed by those politicians who claim that they are being victimized.

However if the cases are serious such as murder, rape, extortion, kidnapping and other such allied activities that some of our illustrious leaders indulge in then the law should take its own course and that too bloody quickly.
I think this would be a great way to clean up the system. Wonder if there is some way in which one can achieve this.

Any ideas folks?

Revenue Budget

Under Article 112 of the Constitution of India, the Annual Financial Statement has to distinguish expenditure of the Government on revenue account from other expenditures.

Government Budget, therefore, comprises of:
Revenue Budget
Capital Budget.

Revenue Budget consists of the revenue receipts of Government,
Tax revenues
Other revenues like - 
        Interest and dividend on investments made by Government
        Fees
        Other receipts for services rendered by Government,

 and the expenditure met from these revenues.

Revenue expenditure is for the normal running of Government departments and various services, interest payments on debt, subsidies, etc.

Broadly, the expenditure which does not result in creation of assets for Government of India is treated as revenue expenditure. 

All grants given to State Governments/Union Territories and other parties are also treated as revenue expenditure even though some of the grants may be used for creation of assets.

Of students and their PDA

One of the things that has fascinated me these few months in Hyderabad is the rapid change that I have noticed. The change is apparent not only in the monstrous “new-age” buildings that have sprouted all over the city or the flyovers but the open Public Displays of Affection that I see in certain areas of the city. When I stayed here in the eighties such things were unheard of. Come to think of it even an open mingling of sexes was something that was not all that common

One of the pleasures that I now have is getting out of the house at 5.00 am to reach my class at 6.00 am. I teach a motley group of topics (and in my opinion do a damn fine job of it) to those who aspire to get through the recruitment process of the IT biggies. But it is not my superlative teaching that I want to discuss but certain activities that one notices in secluded corridors of the classroom blocks where I teach.

All sessions end at 8.00 am but it depends on individual lecturers when they finish the session. And that day my lecture happened to be the only one on the third floor. As the other sessions got over a bit earlier the students had trooped out dutifully except for this enterprising couple.

Placing themselves strategically at the top of the stairs, where they had a view of both the corridor and the staircase, they were busy in a world of their own. A world that saw a lot of entangled limbs and paws. Now in spite of their strategic location they made a simple but egregious mistake. They forgot that there was a third floor and chaps like me were likely to walk down those steps any moment.

Anyway to cut a long story short, I caught the couple in flagrante delicto. And that is where the fun started. Innocent me saw them and took a second or two to figure out where the guy’s hands were and why and why the young lady was standing at the top of the stairs in such an arched position.

Of course gyan dawned immediately but I kind of ignored them – as much as it is possible to ignore happenings of this nature – and continued to walk down the stairs. That is when the dude saw me, noticed I was a “Prof” and then took off like a scalded cat leaving a rather bewildered, backwardly arching young woman.

She then saw me and ran down the stairs onto the corridor. By the time I got onto the corridor I noticed that the guy was making good progress at the other end with the girl just a few steps in front of me. As soon as I caught up with the girl I obviously had to decide whether I should play the Prof who is scandalized by this behaviour and who threatens to “call your parents” or be the cool dude Prof who winks and lets it go. I, unfortunately, decided to “dialogue maro” a bit and said, “Discretion is a better part of amour” and walked away.

I know, I know. Not terribly inventive but that was all I could think of on the spur of the moment. And please remember I was quite taken aback too.

When I was thinking about the episode, apart from kicking myself for not making a better comment and wondering whether I should report the two to the “authorities”, I did wonder about the behaviour of this dude.

I mean, here you are caught while necking your girl and the moment you notice a figure in authority you take off. What if I had decided to take the young girl to task? Given the general climate of intolerance exhibited when dealing with young couples and the environment of moral policing, quite frankly, I could have made things quite messy for her. Just cannot figure this out.

Call me old fashioned or whatever you will I still think that this dude should have held his ground and in the unlikely event that I did say anything should have been in a position to cover for the girl and taken the rap himself. But he did quite the opposite. And to think that the girl was almost threatening him with words like, “come back or I’ll kill you” while walking along the corridor

Well! Maybe I am wrong and that is the way to handle things.

Welcome to the New Age Man.

The Woes of a 30+ Bachelor

Much like Mrs. Bennet & Co. my family has had this opinion that a single man in good health and wealth is in urgent need of a wife.

My woes began a couple of years ago when I hit the dreaded 30-year mark, with each cousin/uncle/aunt/neighbour/carpenter, etc. expressing their opinion freely and frankly about it being high time I got married.

Being the shrewd military strategist that I am, dealing with sundry cousins, aunts and uncles has been easy. Much in the manner of Napoleon and his military victories, I tackled them on a one-on-one basis and never once did I allow them to gang up against me. This strategy held me in good stead, but then Napoleon too had his Waterloo didn't he?

This happened a few months ago when all of us met in Hyderabad. I, for once, let my guard down and there I was amidst a cacophony of dear cousins, dearer uncles and dearest aunts.

First came an assault from the Left Flank by a cousin. Let's call him M. M wondered why I was mudiri poyina bendakaya laga unnavu (resembling an over-ripe, withered Okra/Ladies' Finger) and that it was high time for me to get married. It was now or never.

"Absolutely!" chimed in an uncle R, leading a sortie against my Right Flank. "And look at your hair. In a couple of years you will be as bald as a coot. Who will marry you then? You know, it was my flowing locks that had swept your aunt off her feet."

And what was threatening to become a longish account about their courtship, such as it was, was interrupted by M.

M still with his "over-ripe okra" theme decided it needed a bit of a variation. "The older you get the less chances of getting a "good" girl. You will have to make do with...rejects."

Aaah!! Now what is a reject? Who rejects who? What? Why? No clue but I said, "Yeah, sure".

An aunt G asked me, concern writ large on her face, "But, when you pass by good looking women, do you not want to look at them?" My reply was short. "No," I said in my best "butter wouldn't melt in mouth" imitation. A white lie, of course, I am the biggest lech this side of the equator.

Then suddenly M got up and started to pace the floor excitedly. He obviously had his Eureka moment.

"But why are you without even a girlfriend?" he asked, his eyes aglow with naughty thoughts.

"Well!" I spluttered, "you know how it is."

Actually I did not, but was obviously trying hard not having to answer that question correctly. After all, why would I want to admit that women do not, er...ahem...find me attractive enough and that too to M.

"Work and travel and no time basically," I managed to say.

And almost before I finished out came the question, "are you, you know ….er….ahem…like that?" "Like what?" I asked, all bewildered.

"You know, do you like um…like…you know, you don't like girls...."

Oh! God, things were going from bad to worse here. I figured out what he meant (obviously have slowed down due to age). B, a cousin who stays in Bangalore, started to guffaw at this interpretation and slowly all the snickers around the drawing room turned to guffaws.

And in the centre of all this stood M, resplendent in his faded, black, baggy, draw-string Bermuda.

I had to do something about this and fast. I said, "Look guys I am not...like that. Just that I am asexual.”
The guffaws/snickers stopped as though they had run into a solid wall.

The family went into a huddle. As it always does in moments of extreme crises.

Asexual.
Asexual!!!
What is asexual?!?!?
Does it mean...er...what does it mean? Does it, you know....
OH! MY GOD!!!! HE DOES NOT HAVE.......THEM.

This was a killer cavalry charge that I was not prepared for. Well and truly into the fire from the frying pan. I had to explain.

Immediately.

Boss, everything that needs to be there is there. I should know, after all I check once a month. The snickers started again.

Just when I thought the worst was over, in chimed B about BPO Babes and the fact that Navi Mumbai was awash with them. B, the certified cute guy of the Family, forgot his virtuous act for a while and began to instruct me in the art of wooing them BPO Babes, while I realized that not one of the schemes was good enough as most of them seemed to require me to stay up beyond 10.00 pm - my sacred beddy-bye time.

At this juncture Kindly K stepped in.

Her take on the whole issue: Don't get married just for your sake.

Eh!?!?!?! I needed enlightenment. K's logic was, "Get married because it is the right thing to do."

Yeah! Sure, like that logic is going to work with me.

It was at this pain threshold that THE IDEA came to me.

I got up and announced, loudly,

"YES! You guys have convinced me that my life is thoroughly meaningless and the only way to rectify it is by getting married."

I added for good measure that like good cousins/aunts/uncles it was up to them to get me a bride.

I waited until the general torrent of relief, well meaning chaff, congratulations and other meaningless chatter came to an end. And then said,

"But...."

Interesting, the power a single word sometimes possesses. There was a sudden quiet in the room. Having got their attention I continued, "But I will only marry a high profile MBA thing. Nothing less."

Before the howls of protests and questions of all kinds could reach their collective lips, I continued. I explained very patiently that it was in no way a view that only MBAs make for good brides but a purely practical one. After all, once I get married I would quit working and stay home.

What!!! Shrieked Kindly K. You want to be a...a...House husband?

"Yes" I beamed.

"That is my ultimate aim in life and I can think of no other highly evolved ambition." Eyes narrowed, lips were pursed and quizzical expressions met me at every turn of my bean. The Family had obviously never had to handle something this hot before.
Or from their perspective, this raving a lunatic.

After a space of about a minute or two came the questions, "Are you serious?" "Have you gone mad?" Etc, etc. I put on my totally bewildered act and asked what the problem was. Here I was in total agreement with them that I should get married and yet they were extremely unhappy.

My ultimatum was clear.

Get me a highly paid MBA. And then I'll get hitched. As I delivered the ultimatum the Family went into another huddle, the second of the day, tension writ large on their kindly faces.

That is when it struck me. This was actually a damn good idea.

Me seek MBA girl thing.
Me get married.
Then, me no work.
Me employ many servants.
Me Lord over them.
Wife Busy, Ambitious MBA so she no at home for long.
No have to spend time with her.

WOW!!! This be UTOPIA.

It's been days since the event, but the Family seems to still be in huddle mode. Hope they take up this offer of mine.

India Quiz - 3

Here is the next batch of questions. Please put down the answers in the comments section and get back here for the right answers on April 21, 2006.

Questions:

1.What was unique about the personal bodyguards of the Maurya rulers?

They were all women.

2.In Vedic times a Brahmin boy was considered equal to an animal until a certain event took place. What was that event?

The Upanayanam (Thread ceremony)

3.Who was the only woman to ascend the throne of Delhi?

Razia Sultana.

4.How many children did Gandhari have?

101. A hundred Kauravas and a daughter, Dushshala. Jayadratha was her husband.

5.Tough but very workable: Indravarma, the king of Malava had something in his possession that helped the Pandavas slay Drona in the battle of Kurukshetra. What was this “something”?

An elephant named Ashwatthama. Bhima killed this elephant and announced that Ashwatthama was dead. At this Drona lay down his arms and was slayed by Dhrishtadyumna.

The scores are:

Saikrishna Budamgunta – 5

Anil Menon – 4

(Sorry Anil cannot accept Namakarana of a Brahmin boy as the right answer.)

Prateek Vijayavargia – 2

India Quiz - 2

Here is the next batch of questions. Please put down the answers in the comments section and get back here for the right answers on April 17, 2006.

1. Mythological heroes in India often had more than one name. Which very famous personality was also known as: Krishna, Kapidhvaja, Bibhatsu, Dhananjaya, Savyasachi, Kiriti.

2. Which Indian ruler was a so impressed by the French Revolution that he even became a member of the Jacobin Club?

3. Who did General Hugh Rose refer to, after the Revolt of 1857, as “the only man among the rebels”?

4. The name of which Indian deity has made its way into the English language and has come to mean “a massive inexorable force or object that crushes whatever is in its path”?

5. How do we better know Mihr-un-nisa in Indian history?

Answers:

1.Arjuna
2.Tipu Sultan.
3.Rani Lakshmibai.
4.Lord Jaggannath of Puri. The word is Juggernaut

5.Nur Jahan

India Quiz - 1

From today starts a series of Quizzes on Indian History, Mythology and Culture. I will be putting up a set of five questions once every three days. I would like to invite all you folks to take a crack at these questions.

Put down your responses in the comments section and then check back for the correct answers.

The answers to these questions will be put up on the date mentioned below.

Happy Quizzing.

Questions:

1. In ancient India, this river was referred to as Shatadru. How do we know it now?
2. Who was the ruler of the territory between the rivers Jhelum and the Ravi at the time of Alexander’s invasion of India?
3. Who sent Megasthenes as his ambassador to the Mauryan Court?
4. What was the original name of Mahabharata?
5. Name the kingdom over which Dasharatha ruled.


Answers:

1. Sutlej.
2. Paurava or Porus as the Greeks called him.
3. Seleucus Nikator.
4. Jaya. It was said of the Mahabharata, “What is here maybe found elsewhere too but what is not here cannot be found anywhere.”
5. Kosala.

"Milse Riday Saar"

One of the great facets of Hyderabad, which I am rediscovering almost everyday, is the fascinating hybrid culture that it possesses. For instance the Hindi spoken here is influenced by both Telugu and Urdu and has developed an identity all of its own.

Apart from Hindi even English seems to have mutated considerably in the Hyderabadi environment.

Having moved back just a few weeks ago I am still in the process of discovering the perfect route to my office and during one such experiment I noticed a small little Andhra restaurant being part-renovated. It was not the fact that it was being renovated that caught my eye but the banner that was put up announcing that while there was indeed some renovation going on the Restaurant was still very much in business.
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The restaurant owner was, probably, using the service entrance to allow its patrons to get in and announced the same with panache.

Meals Served in the Backside.

If I had a camera phone I would have gotten off the bus immediately just to click a photograph of this banner.

The pity is that now I do not even remember the area where I saw it. Else I would have taken a day off just to get that photograph.

I guess this banner puts to shame other creative ventures that I have noticed like:

Dormantary and Sute available for Gents

&

Fost Food Avilible here

Time for a burger break, guys.

A Guide for the Linguistically challenged. ;-)

Dormantary=Dormitory

Sute=Suite

Milse Ready Saar=Meals Ready, Sir

The Mumbai Deluge

Got up this morning and realized that it is July 26 once again. My thoughts immediately drifted to the events this day, last year in Mumbai thanks to the unprecedented floods. Not that I could have escaped thinking about it given that the Television channels are once again going on and on about the Deluge.

I must, of course, also salute the much hyped (and of late much abused) “spirit and resilience” of Mumbai. Having been through all the madness of last year, I realize that it does take some spirit on the part of the citizenry to carry on even in such adverse conditions.

The Call
At around 1.30 pm, Sameer called to say that the trains had stopped running because of the heavy rains and that it made sense to leave work a "bit" early. I ignored the advice completely as I had a meeting and wanted to keep that appointment. Apart from that, heavy rains and trains stopping due to water logging on the tracks are not exactly a new phenomenon in Mumbai.

The meeting was scheduled at 5.00 pm. At Tardeo!!! This was probably the only place in south Mumbai that was water logged that day. Of course the meeting never happened but it ensured that I was in office till 4.20 pm.

On the Road
By the time we cancelled the meeting the situation was already chaotic. No trains and apparently no BEST buses. Everyone in the office had already left and I lost no time in rushing immediately to the bus stop hoping to hop onto some stray bus. Once on the street, however, I found that buses were plying. The moment I saw a bus at a distance I began wondering how much of the problem it really was. But the way I looked at it was, I have got off a couple of hours early so why complain. And I went my merry way to the Century Bazar bus stop at Worli.

However when one of the buses arrived at my stop I realised that forget getting in I would not be able to place a toe in it. The enormity of the situation was yet to sink in, but I kind of realised that this was not just another manic monsoon day in Mumbai.

My immediate concern was, as usual, What About FOOD? I decided to have some grub immediately because I noticed that most restaurants were filling up with people (I once experienced the situation where due to a similar kind of emergency restaurants had run out of food). Had a quick dosa and went back to office thinking that I would make another attempt at around 7.00 pm. By then I figured the crowd would have dispersed.

Back in Office
Ha! Little did I realize the chaos that I would get to witness at 7.00 pm. The arterial Annie Besant road was choc a bloc with traffic and not one of the vehicles was moving an inch. That was when I decided to stay back in office.

My office overlooked the Annie Besant Road and I was peeping out of the window every 20 minutes to figure out if it was time to get going. And in the meantime, to add to the fun and games, water started seeping in through a crack that opened up near the window frame. I spent the next hour or so shifting all the books and VCDs that were liberally strewn (in cardboard cartons of course) on the floor to some place safer.

That done and with my back complaining quite a bit I decided to stay back in office. I informed Uncle Pai and then settled in for the night.

Of course I asked the HOT secy to stay back too. Just Kidding dudes no such post exists. The only female in the office is Mrs. Pai.

Luckily the office had both electricity and Net connections. That enabled me to chat with my friends. I had a longish chat with my school friends who happen to be in the US. So it was convenient for all of us.

July 27, 4.00 am
At 4.00 am I decided that I would leave because I wanted to catch the "First" bus and head home.

I was back at the Century Bazar Bus stop by 4.15 am and waited for a bus till 5.00 am. Got a bus and was zooming home. The bus zoomed homewards for about 10 minutes and I was already thinking in terms of a nice hot bath etc. Just as the bus approached Dadar I noticed that there was this huge crowd milling around on the road.

The alarm bells started to ring.

The problems started from here with the bus remaining stationary for an hour or so because of a major traffic jam. At 5.00 am.!!! The reason was that a lot of people had abandoned their cars the previous evening on the roads and had left. This left very little space to move.

July 27, 8.00 am
At 8.00 am the bus finally reached a place called Sion Hospital. This is about 5 km from my office. (At this point I still had another 20 km to reach home) There I got off the bus as I just could not take sitting in cooped up in the bus anymore. I then walked a bit and found Route No. 521 and that too empty. (This is the Route no. that runs up to Navi Mumbai where I stayed.) Such things don’t normally happen. I quickly ran and got into the bus. And felt mighty relieved that I got the bus.

I asked a co-passenger at what time he had got the bus because I felt I had missed it because of the stupid traffic jam that the other bus was in. This chap glared at me and then said, "Kal shaam ko 5.30 pm ko. Bharaah ghanton say issi bus mein hain."

After a while, I kind of realised that something was wrong. For one, the bus was not moving and then I noticed that both the Driver and the Conductor were missing. They were having chai in a stall outside.

I quickly got off that bus and walked for about 25 minutes to get to Everard Nagar, the place where this Photograph was taken. I just did not feel like going into the water. Especially because I know what happens on the sidewalk and the open areas next to it.


July 27, 10.00 am
Well! I hung on for about almost a couple of hours mulling on where, if at all, any toilet facilities existed close by and other such interesting thoughts. In the meanwhile I asked the driver of a bus that was stuck there if the water was receding. He pointed out to a half submerged truck and said, "Kal raat ko woh bus dikh nahin rahi thi." He seemed majorly happy at his keen sense of observation. Anyway still hung on and watched people struggling through this waist deep water.

What I found interesting was that all of them were half submerged in dirty water and yet ALL of them chose to use their umbrellas to shield themselves from the drizzle. To each his own, I guess.

And then suddenly out of nowhere along came a cop and tried to clear the path for the bigger vehicles to go through.

July 27, 11.00 am
At last a truck carrying LPG cylinders started to move. I quickly clambered on to its side (along with about 15 others) and clung on. This truck then ploughed gleefully through the water. There was a Maruti car half submerged and because of the waves that this truck created that car went completely underwater for a second or two. Was a sight to behold.

At Kurla junction I thought the water level was quite low and jumped off. I was wrong. As usual. The water level was not too low. I waded through that water taking care to not look at the sides of the road and reached Chembur Naka.

Trust me there was no water logging at all. Absolutely clear roads.

I bumped into a couple of former students and then walked with them for about 20 minutes. Luckily the brother of one of the students had come looking for her. And more importantly he had got his car. We walked to the car which also had the mother sitting in there.

This student on being polite offered a lift. I usually do not accept a lift from students but this time around I changed my policy got into the car immediately. The next 10-12 km was covered in 15 minutes. Got dropped off at Vashi (in Navi Mumbai) and then walked to a restaurant and got my self lunch and then got home at 1.00 pm.

Not bad.

25 km done in 9 hours flat

.

Intent Blog - My article

There cannot be a greater proof of my ever increasing laziness than the fact that I am posting a write-up that I had done for the Intent Blog. But I thought why the hell not.

Intent Blog has been set up Mallika Chopra, daughter of new age Guru Deepak Chopra. Has a few interesting articles.

Anyway here goes my stuff on it:

The past couple of weeks have seen a lot of changes in my life. Chief among them being a change of job, which has meant moving back home. I have now moved bag and baggage to Hyderabad after spending 16 years in Mumbai.

My last stint in Mumbai was with Mr. Anant Pai a.k.a. Uncle Pai, the man behind the “Amar Chitra Katha” series and “Tinkle”, the monthly comic book for children. (The “Amar Chitra Katha” series deals with Indian history, culture and mythology in the comic book format. I have a feeling that most of my generation had its introduction to Indian history and mythology from Amar Chitra Katha.)

Two years ago, at 75, when most people are well into their retirement (at least in India) Uncle Pai decided to use the animation and television medium, along with comic books, to popularize Indian culture. To this end he set up an animation and television software firm. I can’t think of too many people who have set up new ventures at 75. His enthusiasm and energy is absolutely unbelievable and totally infectious.

It was a delight to interact with Uncle Pai on a daily basis. He would recite shlokas from the Vedas, talk about Kabir and his life & times, quote from Zauq and Abdul Rahim Khan-i-Khanan – all in the line of business.

Working with him was a breeze also because I loved doing what I did. And that was handling the promotional activities for our products (in an earlier stint I did the same for the comic series “Amar Chitra Katha” and Tinkle). I enjoyed interacting with the bright young kids and their parents. The interesting part was that almost invariably whenever we conducted a promotional campaign we would have parents come up to him and say that they had participated in some competition that he had conducted in 1979/1985/1990 (or whatever) and that they were delighted that their children were now participating in the same event.

The other reason that I loved working with Uncle was because of my own interest in Indian history and mythology. I found that I could pick his brains about almost any aspect of our history.

One of my favourite books is the Mahabharata (An epic that has at its core the battle for territory between two sets of cousins – the Pandavas and the Kauravas. The Pandavas, the good guys, triumph in the end. The Mahabharata also contains the Bhagwad Gita, Krishna’s advice to Arjuna delivered on the battlefield of Kurukshetra). I have read and re-read the epic and every time there is something new about it that I appreciate.

Indian history is another area that fascinates me. But it is more of ancient Indian history that I like. I feel completely depressed when I read the later medieval and modern Indian history. This is so because this period in Indian history is replete with:

• internecine battles

• ignorance and poverty of a large mass of people

• lack of foresight of the ruling class and

• a tepid response to external aggression

All these allowed a bunch of traders to gain political control over the whole of India. This segment is so gut-wrenching that I have decided to ignore it completely.

I succeeded in doing that but how am I to block out the fact that these are the very same ills that are plaguing India even today. Try as I might I cannot ignore the events of the past one week in Srinagar and Mumbai. Especially the Mumbai train blasts.

What really gets to me is the seeming inability of the Indian state to act with firmness. All of us know, with a reasonable degree of certainty, who is behind this latest terrorist attack on Indian soil and yet all we get are bromides from the powers that be that India will no longer tolerate acts of violence against itself. Wow! I am sure the terrorists are quaking in their boots after listening to this statement.

Contrast that with the Israeli response to the kidnapping of two of their soldiers and the difference in approach is starkly apparent.

The other thing that irks me is the way everyone has gone on and on about how resilient Mumbaikars are. Yes we are (oops, I am no longer a Mumbaikar…but the spirit lingers on). But why do we need to be?

Mumbaikars are termed resilient when we pick up our lives after there is unprecedented flooding, after riots and when bombs go off. Mumbaikars are always termed resilient. The rest of the country applauds as they see us come out onto the streets to help people in distress. They even applaud us when we hand out water and food or when we offer a ride home to stranded fellow citizens during an emergency.

I find this applause quite sickening.

Why do we need to exhibit this legendary “spirit” and “resilience” year after year? It would help if the world stopped applauding us and instead got down to the business of making the life of the average Mumbaikar a bit easier and safer.

I realize that I have come across as angry and a touch bitter but there are times when anger is a virtue and patience a vice. I do not subscribe to the view that being patient and virtuous and “spirited” is the way forward. There has to be constructive anger that the citizens have to express against the government. And hopefully that will force the authorities to act in a more decisive manner and all of us can get on with our lives in peace.

The Battle of Khardla: The Begum & her Tantrum.

I asked a friend, who is a history buff, whether he could give me some reasons due to which rulers lost battles in medieval India. He was immediately up and running with his reasons.

Bad Planning
Incompetent generals
Ill-equipped and ill-disciplined troops
Inferior equipment
Traitors

That was when I bowled my googly. I asked, “How about a tantrum throwing wife?”
This reason threw him completely out of kilter.

“Eh! What’s that again?”

He absolutely refused to believe that a tantrum throwing Begum could be a possible reason for losing a significant battle.

However this was precisely what happened to the Nizam of Hyderabad. He lost the Battle of Khardla to the Marathas because his Begum threw a tantrum and demanded that……… but hey, I am getting ahead of the story.

Before I plunge in and “reveal” all about the Begum’s tantrum let me give you a, not so brief, historical background to the battle.

Background:
The Marathas, under Peshwa Baji Rao I, routed the forces of the Nizam of Hyderabad in the Palkhed campaign of 1728. Following this victory the Peshwa levied Chauth (1/4th of the land revenue collected) and Sardeshmukhi for the very first time on Hyderabad.

The amount to be paid was hotly contested and continued to be so even up to the 1790s. By this time Nizam Ali Khan was on the throne of Hyderabad and the Maratha Machiavelli, Nana Phadnavis, the real power in Poona.

Nizam Ali Khan tried, unsuccessfully, to sneak out of the commitment entered into by his father Nizam ul Mulk. Of course, the amount that needed to be paid could have been negotiated but there existed such bitter personal animosity between Azim ul Umra, the Nizam’s minister and Nana Phadnavis that such an option was just not on.

Azim ul Umra tried getting the British to help him in battle, but the British Resident under strict instructions from Sir John Shore, the Governor General, declined to do so. Shore wanted to preserve the fledgling British Empire and not antagonize the Marathas who were a more powerful force than the Nizam was.

The Nizam, in spite of this setback went ahead with his decision to go to war.

Preparations for the War:
The lead up to the war was obviously characterized by intense military preparations. As any good military strategist will tell you chief among military preparations is always the attempt to bribe members of the opposing court. The Nizam was rumoured to have spent a colossal amount of Rs. One Crore (Maybe about Rs. 4000 crore in today’s currency) in the hope of getting the Scindia to desert the Marathas. Nana Phadnavis in turn spent a more modest Rs. 7 Lakh bribing members of the Nizam’s court.

Once these preliminary preparations were completed the two sides hit the road.

On the Road:In early 1794, after additional preparations that involved nautch girls who sang about the Nizam’s victory and Azim ul Ummra thundering that he would send Nana to Benaras in a loin cloth, the Nizam with his darbar moved to Bidar (Bidar was the Hyderabadi fortress closest to the Maratha frontier) and began to put together a large army.

Finally in December 1794, the Nizam’s army set off from Bidar. It lumbered along the Manjira River towards Poona with the Nizam insisting, all the while, that he was not planning to attack the Marathas but was merely out on a holiday with family and friends.

Given the composition of the touring party it almost seemed true. For apart from the army there was also a huge caravan of covered elephants that had the Nizam’s harem. I am sure they were meant to bolster the morale, among other things, of the Nizam and his men. The harem also had a dedicated regiment of female infantry brought along to protect it from harm.

The Battle:
After meandering along the road for three months the Nizam’s forces reached a ridge called Moori Ghat on the 14th of March. On the morning of 15 March, 1795 the Nizam gave orders for attack. And the army swooped down from Moori Ghat on the Marathas who were assembled at the bottom of the hill.

The Nizam’s French trained artillery and even his Zuffur Plutun (Woman Battalion) succeeded in reaching their planned spot about 6 kilometers from the slopes of the Ghat. Once they reached the position they dug in for the night and prepared for the battle on the morrow. Smug in the belief that victory would be theirs.

The Begum & her threat:
However the silly stiffs did not reckon with the boss’ wife.

Occasional cannonade by the Marathas during the night scared the wits out of the Nizam’s begums. Especially Bakshi Begum who was the Nizam’s senior wife. Obviously the good Begum was not expecting all this noise and confusion during what she felt was just another Nawabi outing. Bakshi Begum then ran around in circles beating her breasts wondering what to do. It was then that inspiration struck.

She simply went up to the Nizam and threatened to unveil herself in public if the women of the zenana were not shifted to the “safety” of the Khardla fort which lay at the foot of the Moori Ghat. (Now in the Muslim society of that period this threat was equivalent to a President’s wife threatening to strip on live Television.) Unnerved by this threat and being the good husband that he was, the Nizam agreed to take all of his women to the fort.

Movement of this nature at the time that it took place (11.00 pm) obviously created some amount of confusion. During this confusion a small band of Maratha soldiers, who were out looking for water, bumped into a Hyderabadi picket and a short exchange of fire in pitch dark conditions, was enough to throw the Hyderabadi troops into complete and utter confusion. They rushed as quickly as they could into the fort.

Once inside the fort there was wild cheering and general happiness among the Begums that this complicated military procedure (of retreating to a fort from a position of strength) was accomplished.

Once the celebrations subsided someone noticed a SLIGHT flaw in the maneuver they felt was a super success: the Hyderabadis had left behind their guns, ammunitions, food supplies, pack animals, horses etc. And they were all holed up in a small fort, totally at the mercy of the Marathas.

In the morning the Marathas found that the Hyderabadis had not only left their strategic advantage but also left behind quite a lot of gifts for them. The Marathas obviously took complete advantage of the situation. By 10.00 in the morning they had brought about 400 guns, 2000 camels and 15 heavy canons onto the ridge. By 11.00 am they had completely surrounded the fort and started to blast away. It was all over bar the shouting.

The Nizam was forced to sign a humiliating peace treaty on April 17.
Wonder what the Begum had to say about that.